Walt Disney Stole My Pirates!
by Princess.Jack.N.Anamaria
Summary: I've decided to go ahead and make this story about their summer vacation BEFORE college, because this is already 14 chapters, and they are NOWHERE near getting to college yet. So...yeah. Last story will be, College... Pairings: JackAnamaria duh! WillEliza
1. Of Spanish Rats and Fat Girlfriends

**College and Pirates Just Don't Mix**

**By: Anamaria's Lil' Sidekick**

_and so the story continues..._

**Author's Note:** First and most importantly, I must say that I'm terribly sorry for making you wait so long. IT'S THIS BLASTED SCHOOLWORK! You see, I've been super busy with the CRCT, and on top of that, I had to do my school "Olympic Week" thing (like Field Day), and my teachers are piling tests on top of us like crazy now! Bah! So...yeah, I've been extremely busy and such. Anywho, I hope you like this story, maybe even more than the first one. 'Tis dedicated to all reviewers from "Wow! Pirates in 2005!" ENJOY!

"Will, whay are you looking like that?" Elizabeth M. Swann asked as she adjusted the stubborn red cap on her head.

"I'm just...confused." Turner replied, sitting down on his soft cushy bed in his long silky red gown.

"About what?" Liz asked, sitting down next to him.

"About the fact that I saw my dog yesterday...watching the spanish channel like _I_ would watch the football game. He was _all _into it."

Liz nodded. "Yeah, that's..." She stopped abruptly and locked her widened eyes on Will's confused face, "Uh, hon? You don't _have_ a dog."

They locked eyes, chocolate-to-chocolate, "You know what? I really_ don't_, do I?"

"No, you really don't. So, tell me, wht exactly did this "dog" look like?"

"Well," Turner sighed, "it was sitting on the floor, not facing me, so I didn't see its face. But it was hairy and grey with itty bitty paws and sharp nails. It looked to be about the size of a vollyeball, but not round like one, so I figured it was a puppy or something. Oh! And it had a long pink tail with no hair on it, so it must have gooten shaved."

"Hmm." Liz thought over the description that her boyfriend had just given her. What on Earth could it be? Once realization finally struck her, Elizabeth gaped and sqealed, "Love, oh my gosh! That_ wasn't _a dog!"

Turner quirked an eyebrow, "Puppy?"

"No!" Swann replied.

"Cat?"

"No!"

"Kitten?"

"No!"

Will was confused, "Um...Chinchilla?"

"NO!"

"Then what was it?"

"A rat!"

Will let her words soak in before his eyes bugged in horror, they rolled to the back of his head, and he fell backwards onto his unmade bed in a faint.

--------------------------------------------------

"Honestly, Jack, and you say _blondes_ are dumb?" Anamaria questioned sarcastically as she stood behind said male while he attempted to write his grad speech.

"What? This stuff is hard to figure out; one wrong move and the world will experience a horrific tragedy!" Sparrow replied, staring up at her from his spot in his green computer chair.

"Oh, wow," She rolled her eyes, "and how's_ that _gonna cause a tragedy, my love?"

"Because! If _I_ don't graduate, I won't become a world-known rapper, and the world will never get to see my gorgeous face on television; that's a major trauma right there for _all _female teens!"

"No, that's just drama; now write!"

"What do I write about?" Sparrow asked in frustration, throwing his paper and pencil down onto the desk. "Mimi, _please_ help me write this speech."

Anamaria shook her head, "No, I've helped you on everything you've done this past year; it's time for you to walk on your own two feet."

"True," He agreed. "but, you owe me for cutting off my swim trunks at Will Smith's pool party."

"Hey!" She shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Jack, "The only reason I did that, _dear captain_, was because _you_ made _me_ looke like Tinkie Winkie with that horrid swimsuit that you picked out for me!"

"Peach, I'm sorry."

"Stop with the whole 'peach' thing! Do I look like a fruit to you, Sparrow? Huh, huh, huh?"

Jack backed away, "No, you look like...like..."

"Like what, a veggitable?"

"No! No, you don't-"

"Ugh! You're calling me fat!"

Sparrow quirked an eyebrow, "Really? I don't remember saying that."

"You're implying it!"

"How?"

"By giving me a _food_ pet name, you pig!"

"Love, I didn't-"

"SHUT UP!" Anamaria screeched; Jack immediately closed his mouth, "Now write." Her voice was deadly, as were her glaring eyes.

"Well, I'm going to find something to eat first; I didn't eat breakfast yet. You want some crackers or something?"

"Oh! So _now_ I need to go on a diet? Is that what you're getting at? Why do _you_ get the meal and_ I _gotta have the crackers?" Ana placed her hands firmly on her hips and tapped her foot. Jack shook his head furiously.

"No, no, no. I meant-"

"SHUT UP, SPARROW!"

"Gollee, man, you're-"

"Now I look like a _man_?"

"Mimi, no, that was a big-"

"You're calling me a _fat _man! Oh, I am _so_ outta here." She took her red cap, put on her boots, and headed for Jack's bedroom door; Jack jumped in front of her.

"Mimi I didn't-"

"Move." Her voice was cold, causing Jack to cower, but he stood his ground and said with a firm voice,

"No."

"I. Said. Move. Jack." Ana grinded.

"Nah, I don't think I will."

Ana threw her cap down in aggrivation, "Fro goodness sake, Jake, will-!"

Sparrow couldn't take anymore and decided to shut her up the only way he could at the moment; he kissed her.

**Author's Note:** I know, it's awful for me to leave it right there, but, that's all I could write at the moment b/c I'm not suppose to be on the computer right now. Well see you soon, loves! Oh, btw, I don't know how a grad. ceremony goes, so it may seem off. Sorry about that. Anywho, see ya next chappie, whenever that will be. OH! Before I get like a thousand confuzzled questions in my reviews, Ana's whole "you think I'm fat" thing will be explained in chapter two. TA!


	2. Livin' Lavida Loca

I can't do the long thank-you's that I did in "Wow..." because, like I said, I'm not even suppose to be on this computer. But, I do thank all of you who reviewed. Them being:

rockyrelay

blackmagic365

williz

Rhea2

Little Miss Sparrow

freak and proud

Thank you guys so much. I enjoyed reading your reviews! So, here's chappie two just for you!

"Will? Will, wake up!" Elizabeth said, shaking Turner.

He slowly opened his eyes and groaned, "Lizzie, what happened?" Will asked, gratefully taking the cup of water that Liz offered.

"You fainted."

"Men don't faint, they pass out, love." Turner corrected, putting his cup down.

"You fainted."

Will playfully glared at her. "Passed. Out." He said through grit teeth.

Liz rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say, William."

"That's right, whatever I say." Was his response as he picked up the red cap on his nearby dresser, the one that matched the gown for his graduation.

Turner's words only mae Elizabeth laugh. "Anywho, shall we go see this "puppy" of yours?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now, where did this whole thing about you being fat come from?" Jack asked Ana once they had broken the kiss.

"My bathroom scale."

"And you weigh..." He prompted.

Ana swatted his forearm, "Jack, you don't ask a girl how much she weighs!"

"I know, but I wanted to ask you anyway. 150? 160? 180? Maybe even 200?"

She glared,"You are so lucky that you're hot. Now, come on, we have a graduation to go to." Sparrow chuckled amusedly at her answer as he followed Ana out of his bedroom.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Will and Elizabeth peered around the corner of the Turners' long hallway and into the living room. "There it is," He whispered, pointing to the odd creature that lay comfortably on his couch. It stared hard and focused on the scree, an old Spanish drama that dealt with some man and his wife having marriage problems because of a past secret.

_"Oh Gregorio, no! Me queres tu!"_

_"Pero, no me queres tu, Marsella. Me mientes." He turned away from her and stared at the moon._

_"No, Gregorio, **Patricia **miente! No te menti! Por favor, Gregorio, POR FAVOR!"_

_He closed his eyes and whispered, "Lo siento, Marsella, pero tu nunca has sido honesta conmigo. Yo...yo tengo que dejar te. Adios, Marsell."_

_He hopped on his white horse and fled into the night, leaving Marsella to fall on her knees and weep at his disappearing figure, "NO! GREGORIO!"_

"Wow," Will said quietly to Elizabeth, "its got good taste in soaps." Liz laughed quietly at this.

"Ok, try turning the TV off, and I'll catch the rat in that vase over there on the end table."

"Ok." Will replied. He tip-toed into the large living room, his eyes never leaving the furry animal. Once he got the television, he bent down and aimed his finger for the power button...

"Sssss!" Will jumped in fright and backed up a few feet.

"Holy Skittles! Liz, did you see that?"

"What?"

"IT HISSED AT ME!"

"Will," Liz smiled, "stop eing a baby and turn off the TV."

"Are you crazy!" He yelled," I don't speak Rat, but I'm pretty sure that hiss was a warning for me to back off!"

"And if you don't?"

"I don't know, it'll probably attack me or something! A word of advice, never touch a spanish rat's soaps."

Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh at him, "Okay, okay, don't touch the TV; I'll do it myself." Will went wide-eyed and pulled her back into the hallway.

"No, Liz, I can't let you do that. I love you _way_ too much to lose you. Believe me, if you go in there, you_ won't _come out alive."

"How do_ you _know?"

"Have you ever seen the Hulk?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Differen't causes; same effects." He informed her.

She laughed, "Fine, fine, we won't go near it. But, are we gonna just let it sit on your couch all day?"

"Yep. There's a marathon of **_Livin' Lavida Loca _**coming on today. Hopefully it'll last until we get home."

"Love, isn't **_Livin' Lavida Loca _**a song?"

"Uh-huh. The show is based on the song." They peeked back into the living room at the TV.

_"Lo siento, Gregorio, lo siento! LO SIENTO!"_

_"Por favor, amor, me queres tu! No! No! No!" She ran for Gregorio and accidentally ran into a tree, falling to the ground unconcious._

Elizabeth laughed at the dramatic scene, "Now I see what you mean." She replied. Then, both she and Will cast one last look at the comfortable animal beofore exiting the house and getting into Will's car.

**_Author's Note: _**So, what did you think? Terrific? Horrible? TELL ME IN YOUR REVIEWS PLEASE! As for the whole Spanish stuff, I had to get my spanish teacher to proofread it, and that's what she told me to put. So if any of you know that I did or spelled something wrong, _please_ let me know! I luv all o' ye!

**_P.S. _**Tell me if you want that translated. I'll be more than happy to translate in chapter three or in your reviews. L8er me peaches!


	3. Graduation Day: Oh Crud

_**Thanks to all reviewers, I can't write for long on how great you are because my brother is pestering me to get on the internet. Enjoy!**_

The large auditorium was slowly filling up with people from everywhere. There were grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends from out-of-town, and even neighbors!

Red decorations hung everywhere. There were red balloons, red banners that read "Sunmill Grads of 2005", red ribbons bordering the stage and chairs, red confette on the floors, and there were red beads hanging all over the place!

"I can't belive my baby is about to graduate!" Mrs. Turner sobbed, dabbing her eyes with a white cloth. "It seems as though it was just yesterday that I was teaching Will how to crawl _out_ of the chimney without hurting himself!

Angela, Weatherby, Brittany, Bill, Grandma Sadie, and Grandpa Mitch all snapped their attention to Madeline's direction with horrified eyes.

Madeline sniffled and looked at them, "What? Sometimes when no one was looking, Will would crawl into the chimney so he could be ready to id in Santa's sley on Christmas."

They all gasped, causing Mrs. Turner to roll her eyes, "Of _course_ it wasn't on!" Everyone else sighed with relief. Madeline mumbled under her breath, "Idiots."

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?" Shouted the principal at the microphone. Everyone went silent, except for a young three year old boy who started crying for no reason at all! "Thank you. Now, we will begin the ceremony in a few seconds; just hold on tight."

"Well," Elizabeth sighed as she lined up behind Ana in the long red line of '05 graduates. "here it goes. After a _long_ year of suffering hard tests, horrible choices in swimwear, exhausting study hours, food fights, and inhumane punishments that should be illegal; we're finally moving onto college." She moved forward a little.

"You forgot one, love." Will suggested from behind Miss Swann.

"What?" Yet again, they stepped froward as Principal Oxwood announced students' names.

"Jack in a dress." The two giggled at the memory of Sparrow in such a lovely outfit. Said male glared from behind Will and shoved Turner forward until he ran into Elizabeth's back.

"I head that, Orlando; now step." He said, causing his friend to glare at the horrible name.

"Shut up, Jaqueline."

"Hey, at least _my_ name has a nice ring to it."

Ana whipped around to face Sparrow and Turner, "I'll make _more_ than just your name ring if you two don't shut it, zip it, lock it, and burn it!" She shouted in a loud whisper as they reached the large double doors that led to the auditorium.

Will turned to face Jack; he opened his mouth to speak but Sparrow cut him off, "And before you ask, Will, yes; she will make you shut, zip, lock, and burn your mouth shut."

"You've experienced this before?"

"No, but I_ have _known Mimi long enough to tell you that she _will _stick to her word on that."

"_Violent _little harpy queen she is." Turner suggested, turning back to face forward in the line.

"Not only gradutating, but also being honored for her high spirits and outstanding accomplishments throughout the scool year; Anamaria Thompson!" The principal announce, errupting cheers and applauds from everyone in the auditorium.

A woman in hte audience screeched loudly in delight and stoo up with a large camera in her hands, "Look! Look! That's _my_ babay! That's my bubble booty Anamaria!" She yelled, pointing to the young graduate who was walking, er, sprinting down the isle. "Up here Ana! Yoo hoo! Smile for the camera, sweet pea!" Ana simply took her diploma from the principal and recieved a hug as well before taking her seat.

Once the laughs and giggles of other people died down, Oxwood continued, "Also, I present to you one of my most favorite students here at Sunny Mill High. This student has sacrficed some of their freetime to tutor peers, they've joined many clubs, an honor student all year, the perfect influence, and has been given multiple awards. As much as I hate to see this student go, they must move on. Congratulations to...Elizabeth Swann."

Said girl, er, woman now, came down the isle with a huge happy grin on her face and took her diploma from Principal Oxwood. "Thank you." She whispered in his ear as he gave her a hug and took her seat.

"Jack," Will began quietly, "is your speech ready? Because I think you're up next."

Sparrow gasped and bugged his eyes, "Oh holy skittles! Will, I left my speech on my nightstand!" He yeeled in loud whisper, causing Will to lightly snicker.

"Well, maybe you could just-"

"Jack Sparrow!" The principal announced. Jack could hear applauds and cheers in the auditorium, causing his breathing to hitch.

"Oh crud." he said under his breath before exiting through the doors and walking down past smiling faces.

**A.N.** Hope you liked this chapter a lot. It was hard to think up; I gotta go because my brother is aggrivating me to get on this computer. So, I'll have to translate the spanish part of last chappie next time. So sorry! I heart you all!


	4. Graduation Day: Sparrow's Speech

**I Love Me...I Love You...But Mostly POTC:**

**_Rhea2 (rhea is my aunt's name)_**

**_williz (gotta luv will and lizzie)_**

**_Little Miss Sparrow (my friend would luv to steal ur username)_**

**_blackmagic365 (i missed u!)_**

**_freak and proud (i'm a potc dork and proud!)_**

**_SpAzZzZaTaCk (ur crazy and that's wicked cool!)_**

**_I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THIS! NOT SURE IF IT'S ALL THAT 'LOL' FUNNY THOUGH...I'VE BEEN IN A HORRIBLE MOOD BUT I TRIED SUPER HARD TO MAKE THIS ENTERTAINING FOR YOU!_**

Ana leaned over and whispered to Liz, "Uh...does he seem a bit nervous to you?"

"Yeah," She whispered back as they watched Jack come down the isle, "It's kinda odd. I've never known _him _out of all people to be scared or nervous about anything."

"I know." Ana replied, "There's only one time I've ever seen him like this."

"When?"

"The day that I told him that his Grandma Pearl was coming over to visit him for a month with two more dresses for him to try on."

Lizzie giggled quietly, "Mimi, you're awful."

"I know, but that's why you, Jack, and Will love me so much."

Jack walked down the isle slowly, trying to remember at least a _little_ bit of what he had written down. He cast sideway glances to his left and right; seeing the happy grins on their faces only made him feel worse. A small seven year old boy purposely stuck his foot out in the middle of the isle, making Sparrow trip and fall on the floor with an OOF; he could hear the small red head laughing, and he glared coldly at the kid before deciding to yank a strand of his hair out.

"Ow!"

"Serves you right." He said coldly. Jack finally got back up and continued his walk down the isle and up the small staircase that led up the stage, 'Oh fudge monkeys,' He thought panicky as he made his way to the microphone, 'What in pineapple's glory am I gonna do?' He looked out at the huge crowd and his eyes bugged at the sight he saw, 'E-gads, man! Since when were where there so many people in here?' Sweat wettened his palms, 'Calm down, Jack, it's just a blasted speech! No need to worry because half of 'em don't give _baboon's butt _about what you're gonna say. Just picture them all in their underwear; think Lizzie...or even better, Ana." Instead the images of Principal Oxwood flashed in his mind," Oh blue gravy; it's horrible! The pictures are sizzling my eyes! It burns, IT BURNS! Delete, delete, delete!" Sparrow took a deep breath before speaking.

"Um...as Principal Oxwood informed you, I am Jack Sparrow." He took a deep breath, "This whole year has been great for me. I've seen a good number of things and events that I will never forget. M...my mom and...teacherw, have supported me and the rest of the 2004 graduates."

"Oh my gosh, he's _already_ screwing up." Ana said quietly. Elizabeth leaned over to whisper,

"How?"

"Because he's hesitating, using fragments, and he said _2004_ graduates."

"Yikes, poor fella; I don't blame him though. If it were me, I would've passed out a long time ago." Replied Liz.

"Yeah, as soon you set foot on campus." She giggled, causing Elizabeth to glare and stick her tongue out at her. Ana smiled at her reaction and sat back so she could pay attention to what Jack had to say.

"Also," He continued, "These years have not been the easiest, but they have also not been the hardest. My classmates and me,"

"I, Jack, _I_!" Elizabeth shouted in a loud whisper.

"I mean, I and my classmates have experienced many things that we will never forget, such as...as...as..."

Ana sighed and rested her face in her hands, mumbling, "He's doomed," Under her breath.

The words finally hit him, "Such as the performances and assemblies, the trips, and the food fight that quite a few of us contributed in." The audience let out a short round of laughs and giggles before giving Jack a chance to continue, "I stand before yooouuu." He belched into the microphone.

"What in the?" Ana said, relifting her head in shock, "Did he just burp?"

"Yeah!" Elizabeth giggled along with the rest of the audience; Sparrow blushed.

"Excuse me." He apologized, "Er...I stand before you with my 2006 classmates."

"2005, Jack, _5_!" Liz whispered.

"200_5_ classmates," He corrected, "as we enter into the world outside of our mother's houses."

"What about fathers, dude?" A random guy from the audience yelled, errupting laughter from everyone.

"Yeah, fathers too." Sparrow chuckled, "But as I was saying; we'll be leaving home, and using the great knowledge that our teachers and parents have taught us ever since we first started daycare...thank you." He finished, recieving applaud and cheers from the large crowd.

&&&&&&&&

"I blew it." Jack groaned quietly as he took his seat; the graduation was finally over and everyone was just sitting around and talking.

"Not exactly; it was more like uh...um...erm..."

"Jack you jacked that speech up." Will finished with a roll of his eyes at Ana's hesitant word choice; she glared and pinched him hard on the thigh. "Ow! I was just telling the truth! We all said that we would be straight forward with each other and that we wouldn't sugar-coa anything!"

"So!" Ana yelled, "We meant things like gossip and rumors! How would you like it if I told you that your head looked like a square, your hair looks like a ghetto Shirley Temple, and it looks like someone punched your face flat?"

The other three froze and stared at her in surprise. It was rare that Ana acutually _turned_ on them, and even then she wasn't _that_ harsh. Just as she was about to apologize for her outburst, Will responded, "Does my hair really remind you of Shirley Temple?"

Ana let out a frustrated sigh, "I give up!" And she stormed off, but not before she said one last thing to Sparrow, "And Jack?"

"Yes, love?"

"Just so you know, the correct way to talk about you and the rest of our classmates is 'my classmates and I' not 'I and my classmates." Then, she left to find something to drink.

&&&&&&&&&&

It was 5:00PM and everyone was going home. "So, what are you gonna-" Elizabeth was cut off at the familiar, and very annoying sound, of someone behind her. Jack, Ana, Elizabeth, and Will turned around to come face-to-face with no one other than...

"Will Smith!" Jack shouted.

**Author Gibberish That No One Reads:** I know, it's short. But, I couldn't think of anything else. Oh yeah! I'm starting to figure out that this whole beginning is not all that grand. Well, I actually had not fully planned out the whole 'graduation' thing, just the 'summer vacation' and the 'college days' part. So, that's why the beginning is such a drag, but, by the time they get to college and meet, and; you'll most likely need a change of pants, or skirt; I guess it depends on what you where that day...the girls I mean. **_(fill in the 3 blanks with 3 people you guess it's gonna be. Hint: 1 is a female)_**


	5. Of Eunachs, Tampons, and Wedgies

_**Gimme an R! Gimme an E! Gimme a V! Gimme an I! Gimme an E! Gimme a W! Gimme an E! Gimme an R! Gimme an S! What does that spell? REVIEWERS!**_

_Cap'n Quinn_

_williz_

_rockyrelay_

_Readerfreak10_

_Little Miss Sparrow_

**Thanks! I Rock! You Rock! But..._I_ rock more!**

"Hello to you too, Jack." Smith replied sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. He walked closer to the group. "That was a pretty nice speech you gave, Sparrow. And the burp," He winked, "Nice touch."

"Shut up and come on if you're coming."

"Now that's m' buddy!" He slapped Jack on the back and wrapped his arm around Will T's shoulder as they walked of towards the exit.

"Wait!" Elizabeth shouted, "Where are you three going?"

The three males turned back to face Lizzie. Will S. spoke up, "Well, we _were_ going to go hang Vincent Mullroy and Kevin Murtogg by their underwear in the tree, but-"

"We were?" Jack asked curiously.

"Yeah!" Smith laughed. "But, we could always postpone that for you, baby." He winked at her.

Lizzie held up her hand to his face and rolled her eyes, "Ew."

Will S. held his hand up to his heart in mock hurt, "Oh, Elizabeth, that hurt!"

"Oh I'll show you hurt, Smith." Turner seethed through grit teeth; he pounced at the other Will.

"Whoa!" Jack exclaimed, "Not goood! Hold on! The last thing you want is to break out in a fight on your graduation day!" He held Turner back as Smith backed away with a his hand up in defense.

"Will, calm down. I was just playin' , yo!" He laughed.

Jack let Turner go.

"Now," Lizzie began again, "we need to stay in here so we can be ready for anything else that Principal Oxwood might announce."

"Fine," Sparrow said, "Come on Liz, Smith, Love," He turned to face Turner, "...Eunach."

Elizabeth stood up for Will and said, "He is _not _a eunach!"

A mischeivous twinkle shined in Sparrow's eye as he cast a sly grin, "You wouldknow, would you Elizabeth?"

"No! I didn't- I mean, we didn't- he just..." She trailed off with a blush as everyone cast her a dirty grin, "Shut up! You guys are so nasty!"

"Are we?" Sparrow continued, "It sounds like Lizzie isn't exactly 'Daddy's Little Angel', now is she?"

Ana smirked and playfully swatted his arm, "Jack! Be nice!"

"What? It's not me, it's her! And plus, love, since when has anyone ever reffered to me as 'nice' anyhow?"

"I have. But, then again, I was probably drunk. So...yeah, it makes sense." Jack glared at her as Elizabeth led them all away.

Elizabeth stopped all of a sudden and snapped around to face them, "And just for the record, we didn't do _it_."

Ana asked, "Then why were you blushing so hard?"

"Baby picture."

"Better question," Jack continued, despite Ana trying to cover his mouth, "Why were you _looking _that hard?"

Ana stopped her efforts to shut him up since he was too strong for her, "Jack!" She tried a different way for him to drop the subject, "If you don't stop pestering her, I'm going to take you tampon shopping with me tomorrow!" Both of of the Wills and Elizabeth fell out laughing at Sparrow's horror stricken expression.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Playtex. Period." She quoted the commercial with defiance in his eyes; everyone laughed harder.

"Ok, ok! I'll be nice, just promise me you'll reconsider!"

Ana feigned thinking her proposal over, "I'll think about it." She finally replied, causing Jack to sigh with relief. There are certain things that a man is not meant to go shopping for, and_ that _is number one. So, with that thought heavy in his mind, Jack followed his friends back to a spot where they could talk some more.

&&&&&&

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Principal Oxwood announced at the microphone, "As you all know, this was my last year at this school. I will be retiring this year and will be replaced with Principal Cotton."

"It's about time the old hagbag retired," Will T. whispered to Jack.

"Yeah. When we was he born anyway, the Stone Age?"

"Yep. Didn't you know that Ug, the first caveman, was his brother?" The two chuckled quietly at this, recieving a glare from Elizabeth.

"Shh. Be quiet you two!" She scolded in a loud whisper.

Jack cast her a sly smile, "Ok, Mrs. Eunach. Are you-" He saw Ana glaring from his left, a tampon in her hand and he immediately clamped his mouth shut.

"You were saying, Sparrow?"

"Nothing, sweetheart."

"So," Principal Oxwood continued, "I wanted to say that each and everyone of you students were a complete joy, and I will miss you greatly. You have all been wonderful to have around too. I wish you the best of luck in your future, and I hope to see you again. But, right now, I'd like for you to see the man who will be taking my place. I introduce you to next year's principal, Mr. Cotton!" Everyone applauded and cheered as an elderly man came walking in with a parrot on his shoulder. His hair was grey and his skin milky white and wrinkled. When the applauds were through, he just stood there...staring at the crowd.

"Er...is he going to say anything?" Elizabeth asked Will S.

"I don't know, maybe he just has stage fright or something." He answered.

After a few minutes wait, the parrot on Mr. Cotton's shoulder squawked, "Awk! Hello little leeches!"

The crowd of people gasped, "Oh my gosh!" Ana squealed, hanging tightly onto Jack's arm. She pointed to the bird, "I...It talked!"

Jack chuckled, gently detaching his girlfriend from his arm, "Yes, love, it's a parrot." He grinned, explaining to her as if she were a small child, "That's what parrots do; they talk to you. Hey, guess what? If you try to give it a cracker, it _just _might peck at your finger too." He let out a sarcastic gasp and widened his eyes at her as if he had just discovered the world's most largest diamond; Ana glared at him and pinched his nipple hard through the red fabric, "Ah! Ow, ow ow, ow, OW! I'm sorry!"

She let go and looked back at the new principal, who was just standing there, not saying anything. "Well," Ana began, "_This_ is boring."

"I know." Lizzie agreed. So, everyone just sat there, in silence.

&&&&&&

"That had to be one of the _worst_ hour of my life!" Lizzie screeched as she and her friends made their way to the front doors to leave.

"What was first?" Will Turner asked.

"Babysitting Dylan and Jaylen!" The four of them walked out the door, laughing at Lizzie's description of the "heathens" was how she reffered to them.

"Hey," Ana piped in, "Where's Smith?"

Jack smiled, "Here he comes." He said, pointing to Will Smith as he ran over to catch up with the group. "What were you doing?"

Will tried to catch his breath before responding, "Did you think I was kidding when I said that I was going to hang Murtogg and Mullroy in the tree?" He smirked, pointing to the large Oak Tree behind them. They all turned around and laughed at what they saw. Mullroy and Murtogg were hanging by their underwear, in the tree, and struggling to get down.

"Wow," Lizzie giggled, "That has got to be the world's most painful wedgie." The rest agreed and walked to their car so they could go home. When they got in, all five of them turned on their cars, rolled down the window, stuck thier head out and yelled,

"College here we come! Woo-hoo!" Before honking in unison and driving off; their parents would meet with them eventually.

**Author Gibberish That No One Reads:** So? HOW'D YE LIKE IT? Please tell me! I'M DESPERATE! Later Luvs!


	6. Jack, the Rat Princess

**_Thanks To All Readers, But The Reviewers Below Are Still Number One With Me. But, If _**You**_ Review For Once, _**You **_Could Be On Here Too:_**

_Cap'n Quinn_

_rockyrelay_

_Rhea2_

_williz_

_Little Miss Sparrow_

_Readerfreak10_

_Rabid Lawn Gnome_ (YAY! A NEW REVIEWER! )

**Let's Begin, Shall We? Duh! OF COURSE WE SHALL!**

Jack, Ana, Liz, and Will T. decided to meet up at the Turner's after they went home and changed. Will Smith had decided to go home instead due to some sort of mischeif he wanted to do in order to get on Carlton's nerves.

Will T. was dressed in a red muscle shirt and some baggy jeans, Ana was wearing a white lace top that showed her stomach and she wore a long blood red skirt, Lizzie chose to wear a powder blue dress that came down to her knees and exposed her bare shoulders, and Jack wore a Falcon's jersey with some baggy black pants; all four of them were in the kitchen.

"Um...why are we in your kitchen, Will?"

"Because, Jack, I need to get some weapons so we can go on our mission."

Jack cocked an eyebrow, "What mission?"

"Hold on." Will picked up the radio that sat on the counter and plugged it in, sitting it on the kitchen table. He put in a cd and evil dramatic music began to play, "We are going on the world's most deadliest mission known to mankind! Mwahahaha! It will test our skills and agility, a fight so dangerous that-"

Elizabeth turned off his music, "He needs to get rid of the rat in his living room."

"Oh thanks a lot, love," Will whined, "I almost had them so worked up to the point where Jack would start biting his fingernails!"

Jack lowered his hands from almost reaching his mouth, and placing them behind his back; he glared at Turner, "I do_ not _bite my fingernails."

Will smirked, "Just like how you don't watch sappy romance movies before bed?"

"Hey, how do you-" He stopped himself and looked around at the curious faces of Ana and Liz, "I mean...Will, you're such an idiot." Will chuckled slightly before turning back to Elizabeth and sticking his tongue out in a childish manner.

"You never let me have any fun."

"That's my job, Sweetness."

"So," Ana chimed in, "how do you propose we get rid of the wanna-be King Kong?" A sneaky smile slowly crossed over Lizzie's face as she watched Jack toy with his hair.

"I think _I_ have pretty good idea."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Why me, Elizabeth?"

"Because I am a woman, Jack, and whatever a woman says goes. If the man does not cooperate, he's basically comitting suicide. Now move it!" Elizabeth shoved Sparrow into the living room while she, Will, and Ana watched from the doorway.

"This is never gonna work." Will mumbled quietly, "Jack couldn't pass as a female rat, even if his life depended on it."

"Why not?" Ana began, "He knows how to pass as a female dog without any problems." Liz and Will giggled quietly. They turned back to watch the scene that was taking place before them.

Jack had on a grey sweatshirt and matching sweatpants, his hair was in two long pigtails on either side of his head, compliments to Anamaria, fake whiskers made from yarn were taped above his mouth, two buck teeth made from Chicklet gum stuck out and sat on his bottom lip, and a long red cord served as his tail; he crawled on all fours to the creature. He had no idea how he was going to do this, so he just started squeaking in a falsetto voice. The rat jumped onto the floor in fright, and then hissed in Jack's direction, pawing at him.

"Er...squeak, squeaky, squeaky, squeak?" The rat did nothing but simply flashed his teeth again, so Jack tried something else, "Tusqueak hablas squeaks espanol squeaker?"

"SQUEAK!" Jack startled at the outburst.

"Si, eh? Squeak squeaka squeaken squeak?"

"Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!" It warily walked closer to Jack and snuggled up against his arm. He turned back to Will, Ana, and Liz with a triumphant smile, "And that, ladies and gentlman...I think, is how you woo a rat." As soon as Jack stopped speaking in his falsetto squeaks and turned off the TV, the rat changed its behavior and jumped away from Sparrow.

"Squeeeeeeeak!" It screeched. Jack was frightened now.

"See," Will said from his spot by the two women, "I told you. Never mess with a spanish rat's soaps."

"Uh, that may be it too," Ana said, "But I think it knows that Jack is a boy."

"Squeaker squeak squeaker squeakle?" Jack tried to reason with it, but he must have said something wrong this time because the rat had now pounced onto Sparrow's head. It chewed and pawed at his hair. "Whoa! Bad squeaky, bad!" He tried to get the creature off of his head, but it was stuck in his wild mane. Will, Liz, and Ana ran into the room to help him get the mighty Rat Kong off of Sparrow's head. "I can tell this must be a woman!" Jack announced as he and the others tried to set him free.

"How?" Will asked.

"Because it's so blasted overly emotional! I say one wrong thing, and my head is its new entree!" As soon as the word 'emotional' left his mouth, Ana and Liz let go.

"Um, Ana? Did he just say that women were..._overly emotional_?"

"Mm-hmm. He sho did, girl."

"Oh! F'get you too, Sparrow!" Ana and Liz took a seat on the couch and watched with mild amusement as the two males still struggled to get Jack free.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It had taken a good four to five minutes for Will to help get the rat out of Jack's forest, but they did it, and Will _literally_ kicked it out the door. "Hey!" He shouted out the door, thinking the rat would hear him, "The next time I see yo scrawny little behind back on _my_ couch, watching _my_ television, you'll find yourself kissing my sledgehammer! Hey, I'm talkin' to you, you filthy, dirty, good-for-nothin', diseased horsed lookin', nasty li'l carcass!" The rat stopped running and charged back at Will. "I was just kidding!" He apologized, slamming the door shut before she could come back in and show him _just _how much she could be a filthy, dirty, good-for-nothin', diseased horsed lookin', nasty li'l carcass.

"Remember Will," Jack informed after ridding himself of his horrid costume, "Hell hath no fury like a ticked off hispanic rat woman."

"Shut up." Will tossed a pillow at his face before speaking to all of them, "So what do you guys wanna do, now that we have some free time?"

"I don't know," Jack commented, "Oh! I know, let's play your Sims 2 game!"

"Yeah! What do you say, girls?" Will asked, looking at Ana and Liz.

Liz spoke up first, "I don't know, aren't you worried that we would act _overly emotional_ while we play?" Will and Jack exchanged looks. Turner pointed an accusing finger at Sparrow while he looked at Ana and Liz, "He said it."

"Boy, don't even start! You were backin' me up the whole time, and I swear if you don't get that deformed looking sausage that you call a finger out of my face, I'll jam it _straight_ up your butthole until you start singing the Halleluja Chorus song!"

"Oh really? Well, I'll punch you so hard, that when you get back up, you'll be speaking in Tounges!" Will demonstrated this by rolling his eyes back and sticking his tongue out, lapping it back, forth, up, and down really fast.

"I'd like to see that, pretty boy!"

"Eunuch!"

"Butt licker!"

"Babboon!"

"Crap stain!"

"Man boob!"

Ana and Lizzie had been sitting on the couch, watching this verbal match like a tennis performance before Elizabeth got bored and turned to Ana, "Sims?"

Ana nodded, "_Please_ do."

**Author Gibberish That Nobody Reads:** Not my best chapter, I know, but it's all I could think of. PLEASE DON'T BE DISAPPOINTED! (tear) Also, I'm perfectly aware that this was way to short, so don't bring it up! If you do...you'll make me cry and lock myself in my room until I'm 100 and something years old. But, I'd come out on July 7 to see POTC 2; it's a very important day.

Luv Fo Eva,

_**jackNanamaria**_

_**Spanish Translation For Chapter Two (I forgot all about this!)**_

_**Oh Gregorio, no! Me queres tu! - **Oh Gregorio, no! I love you!_

_**Pero, no me queres tu, Maresella. Me mientes. -** But, I don't love you, Marsella. You lied to me._

_**No, Gregorio, Patricia miente! No te menti! Por favor, Gregorio, POR FAVOR-** No, Gregorio, Patricia lied! I didn't lie to you! Please, Gregorio, PLEASE!_

_**Lo siento, Marsella, pero tu nunca has sido honesta conmigo. Yo...yo tengo que dejar te. Adios Marsella.-** I'm sorry, Marsella, but you were never honest with me. I...I must leave you. Goodbye Marsella._

_**NO! GREGORIO!**- NO! GREGORIO!_

_(english babble)_

_**Lo siento, Gregorio, lo siento. LO SIENTO!** I'm sorry, Gregorio, I'm sorry. I'M SORRY!_

_**Por favor, amor, me queres tu! No! No! No!-** Please, my love, I love you! No! No! No!_


	7. You Stole My Man!

_**Many, Many, Many Thanks To:**_

**_rockyrelay, Rhea 2, jack drool, williz, freak and proud, Rabid Lawn Gnome, luvvcaptainjack, SpAzZzZzAtTaCk, Little Miss Sparrow, Cap'n Quinn, readerfreak10, and Mrs. de Silva 4eva_** for reviewing! I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOOOOOO MUCH! (kisses)

**Author's Note:** I'm really starting to hate this site! I would have had this chapter up about_five_ days ago, but it wouldn't let me upload because the site had an uploading error! UGH! I was getting so frustrated! But now, you can finally enjoy because the site has finally figured out "Hell hath no fury like a woman". I hope you like it!

Ana and Liz had been playing the Sims 2 for quite some time now, and surprisingly Jack and Will had stopped their bickering long enough to watch.

"Ana?" Elizabeth asked, leaning back in Will's lap, her head against his chest, "How many times have you died in this?"

"I'd say about," She began counting on her fingers, "Three or four times. I got caught on fire once, and you poisoned me!" She accused, glaring at her friend; Liz smiled back at her with her mouth open.

"I'm sorry! I had no idea that green smoke meant that!"

"What else would it be, smoking green eggs and ham?"

"Well...yeah!"

"Green smoke, Lizzie? Green! Smoke! You are so lucky the grim reaper sucks at the fiddle! Ugh!"

"Well you didn't have to eat it!"

"Look at the screen, Liz, what color hair does she have?" Liz looked back at the screen, and then back at Ana.

"Blond."

"That's answer enough." Liz gasped and playfully swatted her arm. She looked back at the screen.

"Your turn to cook today, Mimi."

Ana sighed and leaned back against Jack, "You hate me don't you?"

"Maybe." She obviously did, for when Ana's sim "Pamela Anderson" put the pot on the stove, it burst into flames and caught her on fire...again. Lizzie's sim "Keira Knightly", was too busy talking on the phone, so she didn't know that Pamela was caught on fire.

"Onna tyusalamara." Keira chatted, "Hahaha! Anglu paya tularomay!"

"AGH!" Pamela screamed from the kitchen, her arms flailing about, "AGH! BOMBY DUCA!" Eventually, Ana's sim crumpled to the floor and the "Death Song" began to play. A little while later, Pamela's tomb stone popped up and the stove was in ashes.

Ana growled in frustration and lolled her head back against Jack's chest, "Why me? Why me? Why me?" Liz was laughing her head off, but it quickly stopped when Pamela's ghost snook up behind her and scared her. Keira wet herself and Pamela laughed, as did Ana. "That's what you get!"

"Blegh!" The grim reaper appeared from nowhere with a fiddle in his hand. He tossed one to Pamela and they played against each other in contest. Ana had died fives times, and Ana had beaten the reaper five times. Pamela raised her arms in victory, and the reaper bowed his head in defeat before vanishing into thin air.

Ana smiled triumphantly, and then it vanished when she looked at Lizzie's sim, "Liz what in pineapple's glory are you doin'?"

"Uh...nothing."

"You are doing something!" Keira pulled Jack,the male sim she was talking to, in close to herself and used the 'make out' action; Ana gasped, and Pamela slapped Keira, "You stole my man!" Ana screeched.

Liz cowered behind her hands, "Borrowed! Borrowed without permission, but with every intention of giving him back to you."

"But you're not!"

Will piped up, "You'll get another man!"

"Another man." Liz agreed with a smile.

"A better one...like me." Turner moved his hand through his hair and grinned.

Liz agreed again, "A better one."

Will looked at the screen, and spotted Ziggy, "That one."

"Yeah!" Liz looked at the screen and then back at up at Will, "That one? Uh...yeah, that one. What say you?"

"Hecks to the naw! Jack is mine! M-I-N-E!"

"But he's cheating on you with me, Will is off with his housemaid, and the chick down the street hates us!"

"I thought this was the Sims," Jack said, "not Desperate Housewives."

"Seriously!" Liz agreed, "Keira is such a sleez! Pamela is...her name explains enough, and plus, she's controlled by Ana; it makes sense." She dodged a couch pillow.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Ana screeched.

"Nothing!" She laughed, "Ana calm down, I'm kidding, jees!"

"You better be." Just then, the doorbell on the game rang. "I got it!" There at the door, Will Smith's character "Denzel Washington" stood there; they had decided to put him in, it wouldn't be realistic without good old Will S! "Ew! Liz, it's for you!" She said, then commanded her sim to go to sleep.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Liz and Ana continued playing until the door opened and both Mrs. Turner and Brittany walked in. "Will!" Brittany yelled, pouncing on him.

"Ow! Get off me, you roach!"

"I am _not_ a roach!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

Jack massaged the side of his head, "Children! Please, shut up!"

"Or you'll what, baboon?"

Sparrow's eye twitched and he looked at Will, "Butt licker."

"Eunuch."

"Crap Stain."

Ana sighed, "Here we go again." She turned to Brittany, "What were you going to tell Will."

"Uh...oh yeah! My bff, Olivia, has something on her myspace that she wanted me to show him."

"Such as?"

"I don't know; she wouldn't say. Hey, did you hear about what Fergie did on stage at a concert?"

"Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas?"

"Naw, Ana, Fergie from the Lima Beans. Of course Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas!"

"Oh. What about her?"

"Well, I was watching **vh1** last night, and they said that she 'let loose' on stage that night because they didn't have enough time for a bathroom break before the concert."

"No way. The pea peed?"

Brittany laughed, "Yeah. Nice wording by the way."

"Oh my gosh, I have to tell this to Liz. Bye."

"Bye."

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

**A FEW WEEKS LATER**

"Guys, I'm so bored." Liz moaned as Will gave her a piggy back ride down the sidewalk, "What should we do over the summer?"

"I don't know." Ana replied, "I was thinking Paris." She stopped walking and stared Jack straight in the eye with a secretive smile, "Duz Monsieur ze Sparrow want to see ze little Ana az sexy french girl? Oui, no?" Jack couldn't help but laugh, it would be too stupid not to.

"Ah oui! Seeing ze little Ana az ze sexy french girl would be dream come true, ezpecially in ze svimsuit, but Monsieur Sparrow would rather explore ze wonderful country of England."

"I know!" Liz suggested in a fake English accent, "We can make fun of those soldier guys who stand completely still, you know, the guys with the tall black hats?"

"Yeah," Will agreed,_ also _in a heavy English accent, "Then I can get you completely dressed in one of those old fashioned tight fitting dresses that will expose your womanly, _defiantly_ womanly, curves." He demonstrated this with his hands, creating an hour glass, and Liz playfully knocked him on the head.

"Will," She laughed, "You're so naughty!"

"I know, but you love me anyway."

"Very true." He looked up at the girl on his back, and she bent down to give him a kiss.

"Aw!" Ana cooed, letting go of Jack's hand so she could turn to the couple that walked behind them and lightly pinched Will on both cheeks like an old aunt, "Will and Liz are such cuties! Especially Wittle Willie Wuv!"

Jack pulled Ana by the arm and held her against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist possesively and pulled her closeer to him, playfully glaring at Will, "Mine. All mine! You've got **_Legally Blond_** over there, so stay away from my **_Catwoman_**!" Ana laughed against his shirt and snaked her arm around his neck. Elizabeth glared and growled at her annoying friend.

"Yes, I'm yours." Ana began, "Catwoman is _all _yours." She planted a kiss against his lips, but did not back away when they parted.

"Guys," She rested her head on his shoulder and covered his feet with hers as he walked, "Don't forget that this costs money; we aren't exactly Donald Trump."

"Good thing too," Will said with a long thought, "Could youeverimagine any of us going around with such_ bad _hair? It's _jacked...up_."

"Why do people say '_jacked_ up'?" Sparrow asked out of curiosity, "That's kind of offending to all of us with the name 'Jack'."

"Really?" Ana asked, still on his feet, "What other 'Jacks' would you be referring to, love?"

"Er...me, Jack Black, Nursery Rhyme 'Jack', Jack Dawson, Jack Davenport, Jack Carter, Jack Buck, Jack Fenton, and...uh," He thought about it for a little while, his finger tapping his chin,"Kangaroo Jack."

"Wow, I thought you would forget after saying_ your _name. Never thought you could go on that long." She teased.

"Whatever." He smirked. "But seriously, can we just say '_messed_ up'?"

Liz giggled, "Fine, Jack, we'll say _messed_ up, just for you." Sparrow nodded his thanks; finally, they made it to their destination, the mall.

"Now," Will began, "How about we get a little shopping done for summer vacay?"

"Yeah!" They agreed in unison before opening the **_Sears_** doors and making their way about.

**Author Gibberish That Nobody Reads:** (extremely loud screaming) WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT WORKED! IT WORKED! IT WORKED! IT FINALLY WORKED! I'm so happy I could kiss ALL of you! THE SITE UPLOADED CHAPTER 7! (runs around doing extremely loud screaming)

**AGTNR 2:**You know the drill; review! Now drop and give me fifty! 1...2...3...4...5... Wait! What are you doing push-ups for? I meant drop down to the corner of the screen and give me fifty reviews! MOVE IT SOLDIER! 1...2...3...4...5... LOL I'm so weird...


	8. The Mall: Johnny and Orlando

**Thank You To All:**

_**Faithheart**_

_**luvvcaptainjack**_

_**williz**_

_**rockyrelay**_

_**Cap'n Quinn**_

_**Rabid Lawn Gnome**_

_**freak and proud**_

_**Readerfreak10**_

_**SpAzZzZzAtTaCk**_

Will, Elizabeth, Anamaria, and Jack all walked throughout the mall together. They hurriedly passed by the food court when they noticed Ana's mouth water at the sight of the soft chocolate chip cookies. They continued walking until they got to the center of the mall.

"Where to now?" Anamaria asked, eying the many stores.

"I don't know," Replied Will, "How about- hey, what's wrong with her?" He asked pointing to the shaking Elizabeth. A wide grin was on her face and her eyes were widened to the size basketballs. "Uh, Liz, what's wrong?" Her bouncing and smiling made it look like she was on drugs, but she didn't notice as she turned to face her friends; she whispered something.

"Say what?" Sparrow asked, leaning his ear closer to her; she whispered it again.

"Woman!" Ana yelled in impatience, "Talk up! What's-"

"Pirates of the Caribbean store!" She finally screeched, making Jack, Ana, and Will jerk back in surprise at the sudden outburst. Ana looked in the direction that Elizabeth was looking in, and practically deafened Turner and Sparrow with her scream. The two girls raced across the main lobby of the mall to the POTC store, knocking people over in their efforts.

"What?" Jack sighed and hushed Turner with a wave of his hand.

"Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom."

"Oh."

"We need to follow them and get them out quickly," Sparrow concluded.

Will looked at him in confusion, "Why?"

"Because, William, two teenage pirate fan girls, plus a Pirates of the Caribbean store, divided by hundreds of Johnny and Orlando posters, times POTC plushies, minus the fact that their other girls in there getting the same thing, square that so far, plus pirate action figures and beach towels, multiplied by POTC pajamas and matching underwear equals?" He prompted.

"America's Most Wanted." Jack cracked up to the point where he couldn't stand.

"Will," -gasp- "Will, you idiot!" Turner joined in this laughter as he helped Sparrow to his feet. "But," He brushed his pants off, "you have a point."

"So, are we going in?" Turner asked with scared eyes.

Jack took a deep breath and stared at the store ahead of them, "Yeah. But, Will?"

"Yeah?"

"If I don't come out alive, promise you'll tell my mom I love her and tell my grandmother I lov-," He cut himself off and thought about what he was about to say, "Yeah, tell my mom I love her?" Turner snickerd.

"Sure." The two then walked towards the store ahead of them, into female territory where girls were attacking each other for T-Shirts. Lord help them.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"Elizabeth, over here!" Ana yelled, "I found you an Orlando ice cream for you!"

Swann snapped her head around, looking at the prize in her friend's hand. "Mine!" She yelled, pushing her way through the crowd. "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!"

"Hey!" A bleach blond screeched, "You need to-"

Elizabeth snapped around to face her, "Watch it Malibu Barbie!" The other girl gasped and glared but turned back to cuddling her Orlando Tee; Liz continued her way to Ana and took the dairy sweet from her. "Haha! MINE!"

"Everybody!" The owner of the store shouted, standing on a chair. All of girls, including one gay guy, stopped squealing and turned to face the thirty-five year old woman. "We're going to have a quick contest for free prizes!"

"Yay!"

"Hey Ana?" Liz asked quietly, "Lets stay together so we can work together to do this. This way, because two heads are better than one, we'll have a perfect chance of winning the prizes." Ana nodded and the two squealed quietly under their breath.

"Now," The store owner began again, "I want all of my Johnny fans to line up on the right wall, and all of my Orlando fans on the left!" She watched as the girls scattered to their places. Just now, Ana and Liz were struck with a sudden reminder: they didn't like the same guy!

"Oh man!" Ana complained, "Sorry, Liz, but I'm not really_ for _O."

"Ana no!" Liz whined, "I want you to stay with me!"

"I'm sorry, Lizzie, but if I stay over here, I'll be forsaking my tribe." Liz detached and they shared a final hug before Ana walked to the other side of the room with the other Johnny Depp fans.

"Okay." The lady said, "I have T-Shirts, posters, cereal, cruise tickets, wallpaper, plushies, keychains, towels, pajama's, and all the accesories to your favorite actor. But, you must do one thing first." She pulled out a huge bucket full of slime and guck, lumps were in it, and it was puke green; some of the girls gagged, "This, ladies, is a bucket of caterpiller guts. What you must do is reach your hands way down in the bottom to find a golden key. This key will unlock the safe behind me, where your prize is. But also, there are silver keys in here that will_ not _unlock the safe." By now, a few of the girls were too disgusted, so they left. Elizabeth smirked at the familiar bleach blond girl that she had confronted earlier.

"What?" Liz teased, "Can't handle a little nastiness, Malibu Barbie?" The other girl glared and pranced out; Liz giggled.

"Alright!" The woman yelled, "Everybody move up to the bucket." Everyone did as told, and Ana ended up right in front of Liz, the bucket seperating them.

She nodded to her friend, "Elizabeth."

"Anamaria." Liz smiled; they shook hands before the whistle blew and the girls dived in.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"Jack, what are you doing?"

Sparrow turned back to face Will, "I need to go upstairs for a minute, there's something I need to get."

"Such as?" Turner prompted.

"None ye." He smirked, "Now come on!" Jack turned away and headed for the escalator, but when he looked back, Will was standing there with wide eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" Jack asked.

"Escalator!" He shouted, eyes bugged.

Sparrow looked at Turner with a raised eyebrow, "What about them?"

Will's eye began to twitch as he whispered, "It stole my pants when I was eight." Jack snickered behind his hand, before he walked over to Turner and pinched his cheeks.

"Aw," He cooed, "Did de meanie weanie escawator take poow Will's pansy wansies?" Turner glared and batted his hand away.

"Shut up, I'll be waiting here." Jack shrugged.

"Fine." Turner watched as Jack stepped on the escaltor, but it was taking too long, so he began to just sprint the rest of the way, two steps at a time. Will chuckled, "Does he ever do anything normal?" Just then, he heard a whistle come from the POTC store as a few girls came out, looking like they were about to throw up. He let them pass and then proceeded to get a little closer to the store. "What in the?" When he looked in, the smell was overwhelming, so was the sight. Elizaebeth had bug goo all over her arms, as did Anamaria. They searched through the container with disgusted looks on their faces; Will chuckled to himself and took a picture with his camera phone. He took a couple more and sent them to Jack, in his message, he said,

"I'm so jealous. Elizabeth wouldn't even pick up a piece of paper off the floor for me! Blasted Orlando Bloom."

**AGTNR:** God awful? Horrible? Bad? Good? Wonderful? Lost for words?


	9. Tweedledummer and Tweedledummest

_**Thanks One, Thanks All! These Reviewers Are On the...Ball? (seriously running out of review thank you thinggys here)**_

_Cap'n Quinn_

_williz_

_Rabid Lawn Gnome_

_rockyrelay_

_Readerfreak10_

_Faithheart_

_Countess of Angels_

_Little Miss Sparrow_

_**Like It, Love It, and Can't Live Without It Are the Only Choices You Have When Reviewing This Chapter, Savvy?**_

**I**t had taken a total of fifteen minutes for someone to come up with the key. Despite the fact that bug goo had somehow "magically" splashed itself on other's faces, clothes had been ripped, and some girls had somehow managed to fall in the tank to search for the missing key. In the end, some brunette by the name of Zena had somehow discovered it, but at Elizabeth's death glare, she handed it over to the fierce blond.

"Liz," Ana commented with a smile, "You're so evil."

"Thank you. I learned from the best."

"Aw, really? Now how about you go give that pretty little key to the store owner to unlock the safe so we can share our prize." Elizabeth smiled.

"All for one, and one for all." She handed it to the aging woman, who placed the key in the keyhole and gave a twist. Sudden 'Ooh's and 'Ahh's and 'Waa! I want mine's sounded throughtout the room. CLICK The door to the safe opened and revealed two bags: one labeled 'Johnny' and one labeled 'Orlando'. The storeowner gave Elizabeth the 'Orlando' bag, who clutched the black material in her hands as though it was the world's largest diamond.

_'It's just as priceless.'_ Liz thought.

"Now," The owner began, standing on a chair, "Ladies, let's give..." She trailed off and leaned her head down to the winner, "Uh, what's your name, dearie?"

"Bloom. Elizabeth Bloom." The lady jerked back in surprise, causing Elizabeth to giggle, "I'm kidding! My name is Elizabeth Swann-soon-to-be-Bloom-after-he-dumps-his-Hollywood-girlfriend-so-I-can-be-the-mother-of-his-twelve-children-in-a-386 billion dollar-mansion-on-the-shore-of-a-secluded-beach."

"Er...yeah." The lady stood tall again and overlooked the crowd of slimy girls, "Let's give Elizabeth Swann a hand for finding the key and winning the prize!" Some girls cheered and applauded, others rolled their eyes, flipped their hair over their shoulder, and pranced out with their noses stuck up in the air; Ana snickered at this, calling out to them,

"Yo! Don't hate the player, hate the game! And if the nothing's wrong with the game, just hate the refferee and burn the mascot!" They scowled at her, but continued to leave, and Anamaria walked over to Elizabeth to congratulate her friend.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"So," Ana began, reaching for Elizabeth's prize bag, "can I see what- Ow! That hurt!" She complained when Elizabeth hardly slapped her upper arm; Miss Swann narrowed her eyes at her friend.

"Ana, I love you to death, but I _swear_," She pointed to the item in her hand, her eyes never leaving Maria's, "If you touch this bag, you'll have no hands to touch anything ever again!" Anamaria nursed her redenning upper arm and backed away.

"O...kay. I'll just go clean my hands now." Elizabeth watched as she sprinted off to the nearest bathroom, just as Will came running over to her.

"So, what happened?"

Liz turned to face her curious boyfriend, "We had a contest."

"And?"

"I won!" She yelled triumphantly, opening her bag. Will's eyes widened and he moved to touch the bag, but immediately jerked away when Elizabeth slapped his arm.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Do not touch the bag! Touch it and I'll make more than just your arm hurt!" Her eyes traveled down before meeting Turner's eyes again; he cringed and backed away.

"Okay, I won't touch your bag. Now, how about you go wash up?" Elizabeth nodded in agreement to this before walking to the bathroom, taking her bag with her. Will wathced her leave wtih fear in his eyes.

"Hey, Will!" Turner turned around as he saw Jack racing towards him with two bags in his hands, "I got us packed."

Will quirked an eyebrow, "For what?"

"Well, William, I know where the four of us can go for summer vacay."

"Where?"

Sparrow grinned, "What has many colors no matter where you look, burning heat, and sometimes very frustrating yet relieving when the long wait is over?"

Will thought about this for a while. What in the name of Listerine Mouthwash was Sparrow talking about? All of a sudden, it clicked, "Diarrhea?" The odd and disgusted look he was getting from Jack meant that he was obviously wrong.

"What? No, you oxy moron!"

"Hey!" He snapped, "I am no oxy moron!" Turner grinned and flexed his muscles, "I am a foxy moron." Jack fell out.

"You idiot! Shut up!"

"Fine, fine, what place have you come up with in that soft head of yours?" Jack glared at the last part.

"For your information, Mr. Turner, my head is hard."

"I know."

"Hey wait! That's not fair!" He slapped the laughing Will Turner on the back. "Would you shut up so I can finish?"

"Ok, ok, I'll be nice. Where are we going, Jack?"

"Disneyworld!"

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"Ana, I have a question I need to ask you."

"For what?"

"I'm doing this essay contest for and we had to choose a topic; I chose teenage sex to show just how much the number is growing. So," She took out a small yellow pad and her new Orlando pen. "Are you a virgin?"

Anamaria tossed her paper towel in the trashcan and then turned back to Elizabeth, "I don't think so. Last time _I _checked, I was a Capricorn." Elizabeth looked at her as though she were crazy.

"Are you serious?"

"What?"

"Mimi, that's a zodiac sign!"

Anamaria giggled, "I know, Lizzie, it was a joke to see your reaction; I'm disappointed at what I got. But, yes, I am still a virgin." Lizzie playfully rolled her eyes and jotted it down.

"Did you know that I've asked this a ten people so far, and yet only four of them are still virgins?"

"Who?"

"You, me, Jack, and Will. But, I highly doubt that Sparrow is tellling the truth. Ow!" Elizabeth rubbed her throbbing arm where Ana had smacked her.

"Hey, I didn't say anything about your eunuch of a boyfriend!" Liz glared.

"He! Is! Not! A! Eunuch!"

A secret smile graced Ana's lips, "Lizzie, did we or did we not go through with this discussion a few weeks back?" Swann blushed and made her way out of the girl's bathroom, a giggling Anamaria at her heels.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"Did you just say Disnyeworld?"

"Yeah! It would be fun! Think about it; scaring little children into giving up their fast passes, riding Expedition Everest four times straight, taking pictures with Mickey and his other oversized animal pals, eating funnel cakes 'till you pop, and spilling ice cold Coke down Elizabeth and Anamaria's back when they aren't looking? It's the American dream." Will chuckled and shook his head at his excited friend.

"Jack, why not just Universal Studios?"

"Because there are no giant rats there that I can pick on!"

"Uh...Jack, we all you can be a bit slow at times, but for some reason, I thought that Mickey _Mouse_ was a _mouse."_

"Shut up, Turner." Jack glared just as he saw Ana and Liz coming back.

"I was thinking," He overheard Ana say to Liz, who was still hugging her black bag and glaring at every girl who eyed it, "How about if we all made up cute little pet names for each other?"

"Why?"

Ana shrugged, "I don't know, just for fun."

"O...kay? What did you have in mind?"

Anamaria thought this over for a little as the two made it over to Will and Jack, "Uh...how about Pooh Bear for me and Tigger Tigg for Jack?" Lizzie nodded in agreement to the cute names.

"Nice, nice. For me, I'm thinking Tweety Sweety and Will can be...Mickey Mouse?"

"Mickey Mouse, Lizzie? I'm sure you can come up with something better than that."

Elizabeth thought this over, "How about Mickey Mick?" Ana thought this over.

"It'll work...for now."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Will!" Jack shouted, "They're gonna torture us!"

"What are you talking about, Sparrow?"

"I overheard Ana and Liz talking about something, and it sounded like they said, 'How about if we all made Mup cue his little pet to mane each other?' Then Lizzie asked, 'Why?' Ana said it would be fun and Liz asked what she had in mind. She's gonna sick a bear and pull a trigger on me, then Elizabeth is gonna atttack you with a bird and mouse."

"How do you know it was a bird?"

"She said tweet tweet!" Will gasped at this information.

"What did we do?"

"Well, I don't know what _you_ did," Will began, "but I wore Elizabeth's underwear one day and kinda cut the cheese in them. I thought the smell would be gone by now though! You don't think she found out, do you?" Jack backed away from Will and looked at him as though he were crazy.

"You're a sicko, man, a plain sicko."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"I don't know, I haven't thought that far yet." He turned behind him and saw both Ana and Liz coming with something silver in their hands, "Oh no!" He shouted, facing Will again, "We been real bad boys, and now we're gonna die!" He latched onto Turner's arm, "Don't let 'em get me! I'm too pretty to die!" Will scoffed and detached from the cowering teenager.

"Pshaw! You wish you were pretty! Even a _blind_ man could tell you look like Bozo on Crack! Now, _me_ on the other hand," He smiled and moved his fingers through his brown curls, "I'm _gorgeous_."

"That's the same thing my grandmother said when she dressed up in some skin tight leather pants, claiming to be the next Charlie's Angel." Will glared and knocked Jack in the back of the head, "Ow! Hey, it's not _my_ fault you fall into these traps; you're too vulnerable, William." He looked back to see that Liz and Ana were getting close with their shiny silver weapons. "They're coming!"

"Hey, guys!" Ana greeted, smiling; Jack and Will screamed and hopped on the nearby bench.

"Don't you 'hey guys!' us!" Sparrow shouted, attempting to look like he was about to do karate but only making it look like he had underwear two sizes too small jammed up his butt, "I'm a rainbow belt, so get back!"

"Yeah!" Will piped in, copying Sparrow's position, "Go away to your evil layer, you mean,"

"Stone hearted!" Jack filled in.

Will continued, "Evil souled!" Sparrow and Turner continued the list.

"Wretched!"

"Witchful!"

"_Cold_ hearted!"

"Vile!"

"Inhumane!"

"Child murderous!"

They finished in unison, "Horrifying harpies!" Liz and Ana stared at the two men with disbelief.

Liz recovered first, "What are you two numbskulls talking about?"

"Oh don't play that 'I'm just an innocent saint with a normal unhealthy addiction to Orlando Bloom. Look, a shoe sail!' garbage! I know what you two are really up to!" Will shouted, his eyes narrowed at the weapons in their hands, "All I ever did was love you, Lizzie, what did I do to deserve this?"

"What?" Ana and Liz walked closer, errupting terrified screams from both Jack and Will as they backed up some more and jumped onto a small garden patch. People began looking at them as though they were crazy, causing Liz and Ana to apologize for the behavior of their childish boyfriends.

"Get back!"

"Jack Sparrow, what-"

"Captain!" He corrected; Ana glared and stepped closer, the sun glinting off of her deadly torture tool.

"Captain my butt! Stop acting like a baby and get down here!" Jack yelped when she aimed to grab his ankle. He and Will jumped away from the two girls and grabbed onto the closest thing they could reach, which just so happen to be a hanging poster of a "Victoria's Secret" model. One side of the rope popped, which caused Will and Jack to swing about.

"AAAHHH!" The screamed at the same time as the two of them ran into carts, stands, people, food, and ended hitting the window to "KB Toys"; they fell to the ground and massaged their aching heads just as Ana and Liz came running over to them.

"Oh my God! Are you two alright?" Asked Ana as she and Liz attempted to help the two males to their feet, they batted the helping hands away and stood up on their own.

"As if you care!" Will shouted. "Back away, foul beasts, back _a-way_." He hissed with narrowed eyes. He and Will cast one last look at the silver things in Ana and Lizzie's hands before walking backwards to the exit, their hands outstretched as though they were getting ready to kungfu chop. Elizabeth and Anamaria shared a confused glance before following Jack and Will out of the mall.

Ana leaned over to Elizabeth as they examined their silver "weapons", "With the way they acted, you'd think they've never seen a pair of fingernail clippers before." Elizabeth nodded in agreement and opened the door so she and Anamaria could hurry and find Tweedledummer and Tweedledummest before they ended up running some poor old lady over with their cars because they thought her inhaler was a taser. Poor woman.

**Author Gibberish That Nobody Reads:** Was it funny or stupid? I didn't laugh while I was typing it like I use to, so...yeah. Your opinion please?

_**Like It, Love It, and Can't Live Without It Are the Only Choices You Have When Reviewing This Chapter, Savvy?...I'm kidding! Say whatever you want but just say something!**_


	10. Driving to Disney: Part One

_**Hmm. I wonder if I would get soaked if a cloud fell on me...**_

_**Thanks to Reviewers!**_

_Hell is Freezing Over_

_Readerfreak10_

_freak and proud_

_rockyrelay_

_williz_

_Little Miss Sparrow_

_Countess of Angels_

_Rabid Lawn Gnome_

_Cap'n Quinn_

_**Enjoy Lovely Lovlies!**_

Anamaria and Elizabeth found Jack and Will sitting on the curb, next to the store's enterance, shaking in fright. When they saw the girls coming, they jumped and backed away, glaring.

"What do you want, Wicked Witch of the West and Wicked Witch of the Fangirls?" Elizabeth glared at Jack for that last part, knowing that he was talking about her.

Ana sighed, "What was that all about inside?"

Jack narrowed his eyes, "Oh don't start that, Queen Ursella, you know _exactly_ what that was all about." Liz sat in between Jack and Will, resting her head on Turner's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Snoopy Pooh."

"What the?" His eyes locked on Will, "You're right! I'm dog food!"

Elizabeth quickly lifted her head and stared at Will, "What are you talking about?"

"You're gonna sick a dog or something on me. I see it in your eyes, Lizzie, you're obsessed."

"You mean _possessed_, Will."

"See! You admit it!"

"I was correctin' you, Turner!"

He shook his head and narrowed his eyes, "You're in denial, I see it in your eyes."

Liz rolled her eyes and sighed, "First you saw possession in my eyes, now you see denial. What else do you see?" She asked; he leaned closer and took a good look before backing up to answer her.

"Crust and eye snot."

"Ew!" She laughed, playfully swatting at his shoulder. "You're awful." Turner laughed.

"But seriously. What I see," He took another long good look, ". . .is love and trust."

Her eyes softened, "Really?"

"Really." Jack and Anamaria watched in mild amusement as thier best friends locked in short sweet kisses.

"Lizzie?" Ana piped in, Elizabeth ignored her. "Liz!"

Still no response.

"ELIZABETH!"

Will and Liz quickly broke apart, "Say whuh?" She asked, locking her eyes on Anamaria; said woman sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Get your big butt up!"

"What did I do?"

"GET UP!"

Lizzie jerked back, "Fine, fine, no need for pushiness." She stood up, "Now what is- hey!" As soon as Lizzie got up, Ana sat down in her spot and tackled Jack in full force kiss.

Will chuckled at this, "Don't you just_ love _making up?"

_&&&&&&&&&**TWO WEEKS LATER**&&&&&&&&&&&_

"Will, Anamaria, Jack, come on! We're already behind schedule!" Elizabeth yelled. She told her dad about the Disney trip that Jack had told them and he agreed to let Ana, Jack, and Will stay over until they left. Madeline, Crystalline, and Angela were all too willing to send their scabs off on this vacation before they started college.

"We're coming! We're coming!" Ana yelled, running down the stairs with a Happy Bunny Suitcase that read, 'how can I miss you if you won't go away?' in her hand. "Why in such a hurry anyway?"

"Because there's a POTC ride there, and I've never been on it!" Ana dropped her bag and her eyes widened.

"Are you freaking serious?"

"Yes!"

"WILL AND JACK! YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO GET YOUR LAZY ARSES DOWN HERE BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELVES DANGLING FROM THE ROOF, CLAD IN ONLY A PAIR OF "HELLO KITTY" SHORTS! YOUR STOMACH'LL GET SUNBURNED AND THE BIRDS'LL PECK YOUR NIPPLES OFF! 1...2...3...4..."

"No!" Jack yelled, running down the stairs with a black pirate suicase, complete with a picture of skull and crossbones.

"Please don't!" Will came after him, a black Sk8er Boy suitcase trailing behind him down the stairs, complete with a picture of a pierced eyeball.

Elizabeth leaned over to Ana as she saw Jack's suitcase open and toss his clothes all over the stairs, causing Will to trip over the open baggage and tumble down a few of the stairs, landing on his back, "Hey, Ana?"

"Eh?"

"You weren't _actually_ serious about hanging them from the roof, were you?" Ana put her hand on her hip and quirked her eyebrow.

"Lizzie, out of _all_ the years you've known me, when have I ever been one to throw around empty threats?"

"Never." Her eyes widened, "You were really gonna do it, weren't you?"

"I've got the "Hello Kitty" shorts gathering up dust in my older brother's old room as we speak."

Elizabeth stared at her in disbelief, "You have an older brother?"

"Had." She corrected.

"What happened to him?"

Ana sighed at the thought, "He got his girlfriend pregnant when he was sixteen and I was ten. My mom sent him packing, said it was the final straw after he had begun doing drugs and hanging out with thugs after school. He shot the principal in high school too."

"Is that why you're so. . .aggressive?"

"No, Jack's the one who caused that." She turned to face the two males, "Hurry up!"

"Yes ma'am!" The two said in unison, moving at double speed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Finally, after Will and Jack had put their clothes back in their suitcases, for the fourth time, the four of them hopped in Will's new black Honda and they drove off to Disneyworld.

"So," Sparrow began from the passenger seat, "what should we do on our way there?"

"First of all," Will noted from the driver's seat, "we need gas, it's practically empty."

"Impossible," Elizabeth said from the back, "wasn't one of us suppose to fill up the tank before we left?"

"Yes," Jack responded, "And it's improbable, Lizzie."

Elizabeth glared at the back of his head, "Would you shut up for once in your natural born life?"

Sparrow sighed and sunk down in his seat, "No." Liz rolled her eyes and sat back. "Wait a minute, weren't you the one who was suppose to fill the tank?"

"Yeah, but I had to watch the heathens again, so I told Will to do it." All eyes turned to Turner.

"Hey, don't look at me! I took Brittany to her friend's house in my mom's car because I told Jack to do it for me!" All eyes turned to Sparrow.

"You better glue your eyes to Anamaria, because I called her after I went to try on another one of my grandmother's dresses!" All eyes turned to Thompson.

"Unless you wanna keep find those eyes staring up at you from the floor, I suggest you avert them to Miss Swann, for she was the one I told I because I had to do quite a few things for my mom."

Elizabeth growled in frustration, "Which takes us back to the fact that I was watching Satan's sons that day, and plus, didn't you say that you got done at around 3:00PM or something?"

"Yeah," Will piped in, "that still gave you enough time to fill it."

"Fine!" Ana screeched with slight anger and annoyance in her eyes, "Let's go ahead and blame it on the black girl, shall we?"

Jack, Will, and Liz looked at each other and then at Ana, "We shall." Anamaria growled and knocked all three of their heads together until they cried in pain before leaning back in her seat, giggling to herself as the rubbed their aching heads.

"Well, whoever forgot to do it," Will spoke up, sliding the key into the ignition, "will get off this time. Now, I _do_ believe we have a giant mouse to go visit?"

They laughed as Will pulled out of the driveway and drove off towards Orlando, Florida. "Disneyworld, and overly face painted princesses, here we come!"

**AGTNR: **This was a filler chapter, no purpose intended here. That's why it sounds so...out there. But anyway, the next chapter will have a meaning, but, in order to get that chapter, YOU _MUST _REVIEW! Now, when you have Jack, Anamaria, Elizabeth, and Will in a car for hours on end, you can bet that it will be hectic. I'm getting happy goosebumps just thinking about it.


	11. Driving to Disney: Part Two

_**Thanks to All Reviewers, and to the People Who **Were** Gonna Review, But I Didn't Give Them Enough Time.**_

**_Note To Rabid Lawn Gnome:_** I'm so sorry that I couldn't put in what you asked for! I was typing this a while before you reviewed, and when I checked my e-mails, your review popped up as soon as I was getting ready to submit. But hey, this road trip is in three parts; I'll put your castle, ice cube, and mexican in there. Sound good? GOOD:D

**_Note To superchick92:_** You put me on your alert_ and _your favorites list? I LOVE YOU! Thanks so much, and I'm glad you like my stories so much. I look forward to hearing from you again! Ye really know how to make a girl feel like a celebrity. Thanks oodles, and oodles, and oodles, and OODLES! Also, welcome to the wonderful world of fanfiction. Kisses! ;D

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"What should we do?"

"Ooh!" Will piped in, "Let's sing the 'Crap' song. It always helped me get through the 'Bottle on the Wall' song that my parents use to sing on our way to Grandma's house."

Jack quirked an eyebrow, "O...kay? How does it go?"

"Like this," Will explained, "Through the whole song, Liz and Ana will be singing 'Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap.' You and I will be singing the lyrics, and everytime we come to the word, 'Crap' and the end of each line, Liz and Ana will emphasize it."

Jack nodded, "Alrighty then. Tell me the lyrics."

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

After Will had explained the lyrics to Jack, the four of them started singing, Ana and Liz started with, "Crap!"

Will began the first line, "All I really buy is-"

"Crap!" Ana and Liz said in unison; the beat to the "Shout" song played in the backround.

Jack started line two as Ana and Lizzie continued their part, "In the morning, bying-"

"Crap!" The beat to the "Shout" song played.

"In the evening, bying-"

"Crap!" The beat to the "Shout" song played, making them pause.

"I like to-"

"Shop!"

"At Wal-Mart, I fill my-"

"Cart!"

"Home shopping network on speed-"

"Dial!"

"Every yard sale in fifty-"

"Miles!"

Jack and Will said in unison, "THE OTHER-"

"Day! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"I found this cool place called E-" Will laughed.

"Bay! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

Jack said, "Where I can buy without-"

"Delay! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"I bought a dog that was a-"

"Stray! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"And a slightly used-"

"Toupee! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"A coupon for a new-"

"Buffet! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"One half-eaten Milky-"

"Way! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"Now I go there every-"

"Day!"

"THE! OTHER!-"

"Day!"

"I bought a jock strap made of-"

"Clay! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"And a book of tooth-"

"Decay! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"A deadly lookin' martian-"

"Ray! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"A piece of toast with Jesus'-"

"Face! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"Dead flowers from the Rose-"

"Parade! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"Some ab thingy for my-"

"Waist! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"A girlfriend I can-"

"Inflate Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap!

They did two quick clapps,Will began while his friends sang in the backround,"As seen on TV!"

"Crap! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"Elmo and Furbees!"

"Crap!"

"Troll dolls and Speedoes!"

"Crap!"

"Twinkies and Cheetos!"

"Crap! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"All we really buy is-"

"Crap! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap.

"All of the lanfills full of-"

"Crap! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"The earth is piling up with-"

"Crap! Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap, crap, crap."

"Humans are really full of-"

"CRAP!" They all finished in unison, laughing.

"Will, where did you come up with that anyway?" Ana asked, giggling.

"Flowgo (dot) com. You know that day when Brittany told you her friend had to show me something on her myspace?"

"Yeah."

"That was it." All them started laughing as they stared out the window, "What now?"

Liz sighed, "I don't know."

"Ooh!" Jack started, "Let's look out the window and name all the things we find on the road. One, I just saw a flat squished squirrel just now, its head was all the way across the road though."

"Ew!" Liz and Ana grimaced at the thought, "Fine," Ana agreed, "we'll do it, and Will?"

"Hmm?"

"Stop at a rest station, I gotta pee."

Will wrinkled his nose and scrunched his eyebrows, "Uh, Ana! T.M.I!"

"Sorry!" She laughed, "I'm known to just spit out whatever is on my mind. For instance, Elizabeth, your hair looks like a bird's nest. Jack, your shoes remind me of Bozo the Clown on crack. Will?" She leaned forward and looked Turner up and down; she opened her mouth to say something, but shook her head and sat back, smiling, "No comment."

"Hey!"

"Drive, man, before I leak on your seat!" Turner gasped and drove as if he was at Nascar. "Ah," Ana smirked, "Them ponies really know how to giddy-up."

Liz looked confusedly at her, "Ponies? All I see are cans, boxes, and mattresses."

"I'm talking about the Horsepower in Will's car, you dunce!"

"Oh!" Elizabeth laughed, "I was a little confuzzled there for a bit."

"Yeah," Jack said, "I can see. You are so slow! Ow!" He yelled, rubbing the back of his head where Elizabeth had whacked him with her flip-flop. "Must you _always _resort violence, Miss Swann?"

"When it comes to you, yes! Either I hit you, or I flat out kill you; your choice, Pirate Boy."

"Hitting! Hitting is perfectly fine!" He answered fearfully.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Will gasped, "Look! A poor little doggy!" He said, pointing to where a black dog lay by the median, dead.

Jack took a bite out of his apple, "Aw, looks like your future husband won't be at the wedding, Mimi."

She glared, "You wanna get your nipple pinched again?"

He bowed his head in mock sadness, "Sorry, love."

After that, the four of them sat in silence until Elizabeth noticed something, "Uh...is it just me, or is there a toilet on-"

"Toilet!" Ana screeched, "Where? Pull over, Will!"

Liz finished, "I meant, there was one on the side of the road."

"So?" Ana yanked a strand of Will's hair from the back seat, "I said, pull over Turner!"

"And let you whiz in some germ infested toilet for the whole world to see? No!"

Jack sat up, a sly smirk on his face, "I wanna see! Pull over, man! It's very rare that one gets to see their girlfriend's with their pants off. Chance of a lifetime, mate! Ow!" Sparrow nursed his cheek where Ana had slapped him, "I...don't think I deserved that? Do, I mean!" He corrected when Anamaria raised her hand again.

"But seriously," Will assured, "we'll be at a rest stop in a few minutes. Until then, what _else_ can we do. Obviously, the name the trash game isn't working." Jack, Will, Ana, and Liz thought over the possibilities. They could make faces at other cars, or guess what song each other was singing, or...sleep?"

Ana gasped quietly, reaching into thier snack bag and pulling out a carton of chocolate pudding. She slowly pulled the lid off and poured the contents onto Elizabeth's head; said female screamed. "You!" Liz opened a bag of chips and tossed them at Anamaria.

"Hey!" Jack yelled, "What are you two doing?" Liz and Ana exchanged a look and then grinned at Jack.

"Food fight!" At the same time that Ana threw a Pop-Tart at him, Liz sprayed a can of Coke; Jack laughed, putting his arms up in defense.

"Stop!" He tossed things at the girls in the back as they threw things back at him. Soda, chips, candy, and baked goods were all over the three of them. Elizabeth was coated in both vanilla and chocolate pudding, Anamaria was decorated like a sundae, minus the ice cream, and Jack was dressed in potatoe chips and doughnut pieces. "Back, evil witches!" He threw a cookie at Ana's forhead, recieving a splash of chocolate pudding on his face in return.

"Aahh! Stop, no!" Crackers were tossed at Elizabeth, as were juice cartons and whipped cream, "Aahh! Will, help!"

Turner shrugged, "Ok, if you say so, darlin'." With one hand on the wheel, he picked up a full juice carton, opened it, and soaked Liz in the fruity substance as Jack crumbled cookies on her and Ana continued to smear pudding on her. Once they stopped, seeing as how Liz looked like walking snack store, they turned evil eyes to Anamaria; she backed up with a horror stricken expression on her face.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Jack shook a can of Sprite whilst Liz took off the lid to the whipped cream and Will pulled into the rest area parking lot. Once parked, he took off his seat belt and got a bag of skittles; they stared at her with evil smiles on their faces, "No, no. Don't even think about it!"

Turner, Swann, and Sparrow exchanged glances before shrugging and turning back to sitting the right way in their seats; Ana sighed and relaxed.

"Now!" Elizabeth yelled, and the war began with the coating of food and endless tickling.

"STOP! I HAVE TO PEE!" She laughed whilst Elizabeth and Will painted her in food, and Jack jumped in the back, tickling her to no end. "Aahh! Stop! I can't hold it anymore!"

"Come on!" Will shouted, "More torturing! This is for all the slapping, hitting, insulting, and put downs!"

"I'm sorry!" She laughed, holding her legs together, "I'm sorry! PLEASE! Stop it! Aaahhh!"

"And..." Jack drawled, "...NOW!" At the same time, he and the other two let Ana go.

"Oh my God!" She panted, struggling to sit up; she tried to open the door, but it wouldn't open, "Will, unlock the door!"

Turner sighed, "I don't know, Mimi." He made a poor effort to reach for the 'unlock' button on the door,"I...can't...reach...it. Arms...too...short."

"WILL!" Ana begged, pulling on the handle of the door. Because she was in so much of a hurry, she forgot that she could just pull the lock up with her hand. "Come on! Open the door, you- Aaahh!" She screamed. Will had unlocked the door during her ranting, and because she had been pulling on the handle, the door swung open and she went falling to the ground; Jack, Will, and Elizabeth laughed as they watched her hop, completely covered in snack food and with her legs tightly closed, to the bathroom.

**AGTNR:** Feedback is much appreciated, loves. Now that we've got a chapter that has an actual meaning to it, shall we see what I need to improve on? Oh, as for the 'Crap' song. If you want to hear how it really goes, go to Flowgo (dot)com, click on the button on the left side that reads "Big Big Toons" and choose the picture that has a guy surrounded by junk. The title is called, "All I Really Want Is Crp!"


	12. Of Castles, Ice, and Mexicans

**Thanks To All My Lovely Fans:**

_Dreamcloud818_ (Yay! A new reviewer! Your reveiw made me glee, I look forward to hearing from you again!)

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**Sorry For The Wait!**

It had taken Ana alost five eight minutes to do her "duties" in the restroom. Every time she passed someone on her way to the car, they would look at her with wide eyes and then laugh. Ana, confused as to what was so humerous, only stared back.

'What's up with _them_?' She thought, coming up to the car and opening the door.

"Took you long enough. What were you putting out, a waterfall?"

Ana narrowed her eyes at the back of Will's head, "Shut up and drive Turner."

"I will as soon you leave all the restroom's valuables here at the rest stop."

Ana scrunched her eyes in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

Liz giggled, "The tissue on your shoe, Mimi." Ana looked down at her shoe, and gasped.

"Oh my gosh! Is that what everyone was laughing about?"

Jack chuckled, "Most likely. By the way, love, if you wanted a souvenier to let you remind you of this trip, we could always get you a t-shirt or something. Stealing the toilet tissue is uneeded."

Maria narrowed her eyes, "Would you kindly shut up?"

"What's so kind about "shut up"? It's such a mean word...s, words. I think. Is "shut up" one word, or two?"

Ana growled, "Can I _please_ shoot him?"

Liz nodded, "Be my guest; it would help the world _so _much if you did."

Will started his car up again and pulled out of the parking lot, "You two are so evil."

Liz picked up a cookie, "Thank you."

He laughed, "Not meant to be a compliment, love. Oh, and I need you two to tell me if I'm about to hit something." He backed up.

"Wait!" Will slammed on his breaks at Ana's command, "Will, you hurtful bastard!"

"What did I do?" He shouted innocently.

"You almost hit that poor little baby."

He looked out his mirror, "I don't see any kids behind me."

"Baby _squirrel_, you oaf!"

Will rolled his eyes and continued to back up, "Do you _have_ to be annoying 24/7? Seriously-"

Liz screeched, "Will, stop!"

He slammed on the breaks again, "What now?"

"Aw, you were an inch away from running over that cigarette lighter!"

Will growled, "What's so wrong with that?"

"Because!" Elizabeth snapped her head around to face Will, "If you were to run over that lighter, _a lot_ could happen!" She began counting on her fingers, "You could bust your tire by hitting the starter thingy, accidentally release gasoline onto the busted lighter, start a fire, blow us to kingdom come, then the smoke would rise up into the sky, bust more holes in the ozone layer, cause more global warming than there already is, which would cause a young pregnant woman to develop skin cancer, but is too stubborn to go to the hospital, where the doctors would tell her that she has cancer, which would eventually kill her _and _her unborn child, who had a childhood dream of becoming a famous musician by age twenty-six! Could you live with that, Will? Could you live, _knowing_ that you destroyed a little boy's dream?"

They sat in a long silence.

"Uh. . .does this also mean that I don't have to deal with annoying college professors, my bratty sister, and Iraqi terrorists?"

"Yeah, if you're dead!"

He took a moment to think over Lizzie's words; he nodded, "Then yeah, I could live with it."

"William!"

He laughed, "I'm kidding, love. I'd be heartbroken if that happened."

Jack turned to the backseat and stared Liz in the eye, "So, you've concluded this _whole_ thing by seeing a. . ._cigarette lighter_ on the ground?"

Elizabeth nodded.

"Wow." He turned back to the front, "No comment."

"Back up, Will, slowly." Turner lightly pressed the accelerator, "_Easy_. Easy, now. _Easy_. Will, slow down, this isn't Nascar!"

He sighed, "Who woulda thought that I'd be qualified to Nascar at the speed of three miles per hour? I'm sure I would win the gold medal for sure." Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at his sarcasm.

"Just keep going. _Easy_. _Easy_. _Easy_. . ." She took a peek down at the ground from her window, "You're clear!"

"Finally! Thank you!" Will put the car into "drive" and drove away from the rest area, taking them back onto the highway.

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**Thirty Minutes Later**

Elizabeth sighed, "Taco Bell." A few minutes later she said, "Burger King." She continued with, "McDonald's." The list went onto, "Captain D's, Checkers, Dairy Queen, A Taste of Asia, KFC, White Castle, Fudruckers, Pasta Bella, Dunkin' Doughnuts, Chili's, O'Charley's, Red Lobster, IHOP, Ted's, Lucky Dragon, Ruby Tuesday, Applebees, Outback Steakhouse, Backyard Grill,- ,"

Ana growled in frustration, "Lizzie, _why_ are you naming of resteraunts?"

"Technically, she's naming off places to buy and consume food into her digestive system. Taco Bell and Burger King could _hardly_ be considered "resteraunts", love."

Maria flashed her eyes to the new voice, "Aren't you suppose to be asleep?"

"Aren't you suppose to be a famous stripper?"

"What? No!"

"Then why do you like to be so bad?"

She glared, "What does _that_ have to do with anything, stupid?"

"My point has been proven."

"Jack, I'm confused; _you_ confuse me. But, I wanna know, is Idiot your first language, or something? That seems to be the only language you know how to speak fluently."

He smirked, "Darn, you weren't suppose to find out!"

Ana glared, "Shut up, Jack."

Will laughed from the driver's seat, "Why must you _always_ act like children? I swear, it's like a never ending comedy act with you two."

Ana sat back and munched on a Snicker's bar, "_He_ started it."

Elizabeth smirked, "Yes, you are indeed world's biggest five year old's. But, I was naming off places to eat because I'm _starving_! Will, can you please pull over?"

Will sighed, "Again? Babe, did we not just get back on the road?"

"Yes, we did, but that was for _Ana's_ "needs"! We stopped twice for _her_!"

"Hey!" Will piped in, "It's not _my_ fault her beverages go through her like water through a pipe!"

Elizabeth leaned forward, pulling on Will's seat, "So you're telling me that Queen of the Toilet Bowl over here is more important than _me_?"

"Well, no!"

She violently shook his seat, "Then! You! Better! Pull! This! Car! Over! Right! Now! Or! Else! I! Will! Throw! You! Out! The! Window! And! Leave! You! For! The! Buzzards!"

"Ok, ok!" Will surrendered in fear. He knew not to messs with Elizabeth when her stomach was in control. It was basically like having a second Anamaria around; can you say "end of the world"? "Where do you want to eat at?"

Liz smiled triumphantly and sat back, "I would very much like to go to the White Castle, thank you very much."

Jack smirked, "You're too easy, Will. You gotta man up, dude; for example." He turned to the back seat and stared at Anamaria with serious eyes; he opened his mouth to speak. . .

"You lookin' at me, Sparrow?"

"No, ma'am." He turned back to the front with a smile, "See? If it was some other weaker man, you for instance,"

Will glared.

Jack continued, "The reaction would be more along the lines of 'No, I wasn't looking at you! I'm sorry; please don't kill me, and I promise to pamper you until I'm forty!' "

Ana's ears perked up; she smiled, "I'm gonna hold you to that, Jack. Your first day with me will be as soon as we get to D-man's world."

Will laughed at Sparrow's saddened state, "Aw, poor defensless Jackie."

"Aw, poor defensless Willie," Liz began, "You're gonna be doing the same thing. Don't you feel special?"

"Yeah," Will sagged, "honored."

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**Twenty Minutes Later**

"Welcome to White Castle, mis amigos!" The hispanic employee greeted Elizabeth, Will, Anamaria, and Jack as they came in one-by-one; they came up to the register, "You wanna try our special today? He asked in his heavy spanish accent, "We got, uh, the-"

"No thank you," Liz interrupted, "I would like your full Castle meal with a medium Mountain Dew. I want a side of fries, not too crisp though, and extra _extra_ pickles." The cashier nodded and punched in her order with his greasy fingers.

"You want fries with that?"

"Is that not what I said?" Liz asked, annoyed; Will lightly pushed her to the side and took her place in front of the register before she punched the poor mexican man.

"Excuse her; she's a bit moody."

The cashier raised an eyebrow, "She's a bit young to be pregnant, eh?"

"Yes, she is, but that's not the case here."

"Oh," The dark haired man nodded, "You wanna try out special today?"

Will sighed, "Fine. Give me your special too with a medium Vanilla Coke. Jack, Ana, you want anything?"

Jack took the rest of Ana's Snicker and smiled, "Nope, I'm good." He took a bite out of the candy, and walked back to the car. Ana narrowed her eyes at his disappearing form and then turned back to Will.

"Me? I guess I'll go with two White Castle sandwiches, burgers, whatever the fudge it is, and a medium Sprite Remix." The cashier punched in her order as well.

"Is that all, mis amigos?" He asked. At their nodded, he pressed "Enter", and the total appeared as $18.75, "You're total is $20. 75." Will took out the exact change, not wanting to deal with extra coins in his wallet; he handed it to the cashier and waited. The hispanic stared at them with confused eyes, "Why you still here, mis amigos, your food's over there." He pointed to the next counter that read "Food Pick-Up" on the sign.

Liz immediately ran to the counter, but Will and Ana stayed; Turner responded, "We're waiting for you to give us the receit."

"Reciet?" He asked confusedly, "Oh, you mean the paper little paper that tells you how much you pay for things, eh?"

Ana narrowed her eyes, the sudden uncomfortable feel about this man surged through her body, "Eh."

"Oh, uh," He searched through his mind and came up with something quick, "We don't do that here. We, uh, are very honest people, who do not jip, and uh, we give the people what they want. We," He smacked his chest proudly, "can be trusted with food service."

Ana leaned over to whisper to her friend, "Will, how about we just go wait in the "Pick-Up" line with, Liz; this guy's starting to really freak me out."

"And you think waiting over there with Foodzilla's any better?" He asked, pointing to his aggravated girlfriend.

"Come on!" She yelled at the the workers, "How long does it take to slap frozen meat on a grill, put it between two buns, cook a few french fries, and put some stupid soda in a stupid cup? Move it, people!" Surprisingly, they did as she said and scurried around to fill the ranting teenager's orders.

"But," Will continued, turning back to Anamaria, "I agree that this guy..." They looked at the cashier who was grinning at them.

"Welcome to White Caslte, mis amigos!"

"...is probably on drugs or something, so let's go." Speedily, he and Ana raced to where Elizabeth stood, smiling happily with her tray in her hands.

"Come." She led them to a small booth, and everyone took their food. "Mmm!" Liz commented, "Whoever thought that heat-up meat could be so good?"

Ana took a sip of her Remix, "That's what happens you're hungry; you'll eat about almost _anything_. It happened to me before, that time I ate Pepper's dog food because I thought they were bread bits."

"Oh yeah!" Liz announced, "Estrella caught you, told you to get out, and never come back until you got some therepy." She and Ana laughed at the memory and went back to their food.

Will drank his Vanilla Coke, "This bread is so dry. Why couldn't you pick some place like Mickey D's, babe."

Liz swallowed her food and looked at him with confused eyes, "Mickey D's?"

"McDonalds, love."

"Oh!" She laughed at her own stupidity, "I thought you said "Mickey D's" but meant "Chuck E. Cheese"! You see, when you have two famous rats that hog up commercials like they do, it eventually boggles the mind."

Ana took one of Elizabeth's fries, "Well," She munched, "technically, your mind was boggled way before they existed..."

Liz narrowed her eyes and took a fry.

"...and I would put Chuck E. Cheese more in the "rat" category, than I would put Mickey _Mouse_. Seeing as how Mickey _Mouse_ looks like a _mouse_, and has the last name of _Mouse_ at the end of Micky _Mouse,_ the _mouse,_ which would probably make him a _mouse_, Lizzie." Elizabeth threw a french fry at Maria's forehead.

"Oh shut up, Mimi." Ana giggled, and Elizabeth took another sip of her Mountain Dew; she grimaced.

"Ew, the ice is all melted." She concluded in disgust, "I hate watery soda. I'll be back, guys!" Elizabeth shoved two whole french fries in her mouth, and went up to the counter with her cup; she swallowed her food when once she got to the register, "Um, excuse me."

The greasy hispanic man looked up from picking his belly button; he smiled, but did not comment on her disgusted response to his activities, "Oh! Welcome to White Castle, mis amiga! You want to try our special today? It's-"

"No thank you," She held out her cup to him, "I need a refill on my Mountain Dew please."

He quickly ripped down the sign that read "Free Refills" before she got a chance to see it, "That will be twenty-five cents." Liz reached her hand down into her pocket and pulled out a silvery quarter; she handed it to the cashier, and watched him smile happily. "Mountain Dew?" She nodded and handed him the cup.

"Ice, please." He sucked a piece of leftover chicken from his teeth, and swallowed it before taking his cup and walking to the drink machine. He poured the water Dew into the drain and placed it under the "Mountain Dew" container, pressing the "Push" button. Once it was filled up, he turned back to Elizabeth and gave her back her cup; he smiled.

"Thank you for coming!"

She looked down into her cup and scowled; she looked back up at the cashier, who was now busy finger picking his teeth, "I said I wanted ice too, Sir."

He stopped picking and smiled, "Welcome to White Castle, mis-"

"Give me the ice!"

He jumped slightly, "No need to get loud, amiga." The man picked up a large container of ice, about the size of a mixing bowl. "The ice maker just broke." He explained at her confused state, and poured the ice into her cup, "Oops, too much." He set the container down and stuck his "picking" finger into her cup, taking out some of the ice, and leaving her with one ice cube; he smiled and handed it to her, "Thanks for coming!"

She pushed it away, "Ew! I'm not drinking that, your nasty finger was in it; give me a new one!"

"That will be twenty-five cents."

"No! I demand a free one!" Liz complained, just as Will and Ana came over. They tossed away the tray and took Elizabeth by her arms.

"Come on, Lizzie," Ana struggled, "We have to go! Quit being mean to the cashier."

"No!" She protested, trying to wiggle out of their grip, but Will and Ana were too strong, "That disgusting pig owes me a soda! A soda with fresh ice!" Will opened the door, allowing himself and Ana to drag Elizabeth out.

"We'll buy you one at the upcoming RaceTrac gas station!" Will promised, "Come on!"

"Not without my Mountain Dew!" Ana and Will managed to drag her out the door. The mexican cashier smiled and waved "goodbye" to them, "Thanks for coming!"

Jack unlocked the car door and helped Ana haul Liz into the back seat, as Will hopped in the front. Maria buckled her friend's seatbelt, Jack retook his seat in the front, and everyone settled back; Jack smirked, "It didn't go so well, did it?"

"No," Ana responded, "You knew something like this would happen, didn't you?"

He chuckled, "Remember her tenth birthday when her dad burned the food and she had to wait for him to come back for more? She went bazerk!" He laughed, but Will and Ana narrowed their eyes.

"I hate you, Jack."

He put his pillow behind his head and rested in the seat, "Doesn't everybody?"

"Yep." Will put the key into the ignition and left the parking lot of the White Castle. "Everybody hates Jack." He turned the corner and led them back onto the highway.

Only a few more miles to go!

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**AGTNR:** The whole White Castle, mexican guy, and ice cube idea was inspired by **_Rabid Lawn Gnome._** Thanks so much for the boost; my mind went dry for a while. I'm so sorry for not posting in so long, but the ideas deserted me and never came back. Hopefully, I'll think of something sooner. Ta!


	13. Arriving

**Thanks to the wonderful people who _actually_ REVIEWED:**

_Rabid Lawn Gnome_

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**Wow, _eleven_ people reviewed the last chapter? YOU LOVE ME THAT MUCH! I'm touched. -happy tear-**

By 7:00PM that night, Will pulled up into the parking lot of the Disney Caribbean Beach Resort. He looked to his right and saw Jack sleeping against the door, he looked in the back where Elizabeth had fell asleep sitting up, her head facing Anamaria, who just so happened to be resting her head on the door as well. Turner smirked and shook his head.

"Guys, wake up." He spoke, no one budged. A little louder, he commanded, "I said, guys wake up." When no one even flinched, he yelled, "Wake up!" In unison, Jack, Ana, and Liz woke up abruptly with wild eyes. Will smirked triumphantly.

Jack stretched like a lazy cat and glared at Will, "You better have a good reason for waking me up, Will, I was in the middle of a very happy dream."

"And what would that be?"

He smirked to himself, "I was the king of a village, and surrounded by tribes of women dressed in coconuts and deer skin."

Ana glared from the back, "_Excuse_ me?"

Sparrow flinched, "But, of course, all of them were _you_, Ana darlin'."

Will laughed and shook his head, "Well, anyway, we're here. We are at the Disney Caribbean Beach Resort?"

Lizzie's eyes bugged, "A resort? Will, are you completely out of your mind? We can't afford this!"

"Then how, dear love, did I manage to pay for it already?"

"Let me guess," Ana piped in, "You robbed a bank before we left and went under the name Jonathan Izenhower so they wouldn't know who you are."

Will sighed and took off his seatbelt, "Yes, Anamaria," He responded sarcastically, "I robbed a bank to pay for our hotel. No, stupid! It's called a savings account, I saved money and used a bit from my birthday!"

"Oh," Liz began, "Well, you could've asked us for some help on the payment, Will, you didn't have to pay for it all by yourself."

Turner opened the door, "As if that would work. Jack wouldn't even loan me $1.75 for lunch in the fifth grade! You think he and Ana would actually help pay for this?"

"He is so right," Ana thought aloud, "He is so _very_ right."

"Thank you, now come on." Jack, Ana, and Elizabeth opened their doors and got out. They stretched for a while; Liz screeched.

"What?" Asked a worried Will.

She smiled, "I stretched too hard and lost all feeling in my legs for a second. I couldn't see anything and my head felt completely empty."

Ana leaned up against Will's car, "It was never full in the first place, Elizabeth." She received a glare and snarl from the brown eyed female for her smart remark. Once they had finished untying the knots in their bodies, the foursome headed for the large front doors of the hotel.

The Disney Caribbean Beach Resort was huge with bubble gum pink walls and sea foam green trim. It was divided into five or six large buildings, all in which had crimson red shingled roofs. From their spot, they could just make out the top of the huge white Epcot ball, and tall clock was off to the far left. A huge lake could seen, where people fished, rowed out, and relaxed in their small color ful sailboats. Off to the right, they could make out the amazingly large pool behind the tall black steel gates, and the beige colored temple that sat behind it.

"Wow," Jack awed, "Will, remind me to _always_ let you choose and pay for our hotel from now on."

Turner rolled his eyes, "Sure. You guys ready to go in now, or do you plan on gazing at it with owl eyes?"

"Oh, yeah, let's go." Came Ana's response. They finally opened the door and stepped inside the cool air conditioned front lobby. Will and Jack walked over to the front desk, whilst Ana and Liz walked around, looking and touching everything like they were little children.

A man, who looked to be in his late thirties, greeted the two males with a smile, "Welcome to Disney's Caribbean Beach Resort, gentlemen, are you here for check-in?"

Will nodded, "Yes, Sir."

Jack inwardly rolled his eyes, _'Why is that he's so formal? A simple "yeah," woulda worked.'_

"Name, please?" The blue eyed man asked.

"Turner. William Turner."

Jack smirked at himself, _'Oh great, now he's going all James Bond on us.' _He snickered and mimicked Will in his head, _'Turner. William Turner. William Eunuch Turner.'_

After searching for a while, the man finally nodded, "Yaha! Here you are, Mr. Turner."

_'Yaha?'_ Sparrow questioned, _'What the heck is a 'Yaha'? I thought it was 'aha'. Where'd the 'Y' come from? Weird country man._

"It's four adults, two bed, with full kitchen and bath set, right?"

_'Naw, it's four toddlers, two sleeping bags, with a Barbie kitchen and Ninja Turtle bath set.'_ Jack laughed quietly at his own rudeness. Will turned to his friend and scrunched his eyebrows together.

"What's so funny?"

Jack immediately stopped his snickering, "Uh, nothing. It's just that..." His eyes searched the room, "...your sneakers are really ugly."

"But," Turner looked down, "I'm wearing sandals."

Jack grinned, "That must explain why they're so ugly then."

Turner shook his head and turned back to the guy at the desk, "O...kay? Well, yes sir, that is correct."

_'Correct? Why 'correct?' Oh dear, Will is using big words; the world is coming to an agonizing end! Ahhh! Save the unicorns!"_

The man at desk nodded, "Alrighty then,"

_'Are you suppose to be Jim Carey now? And did you know I use to think that he and Mariah Carey were related?'_

After a few questions had been asked and everything had been sorted out, Will finally had all of their room keys to room 462 in his possession, "Thank you. Come on, Jack." Turner and Sparrow left the desk in search of the girls so they could go to their room and relax.

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"Wow," The four awed in unison. Their room was beautiful! The walls were deep tan with a large beige couch and tan rug. The television sat in an oak armoire, the ceiling held a long brass chandelier, and the lights gave the room a somewhat golden look. Pictures from old Rome decked the walls, a the full kitchen sat to the left, and a long hall led to their bed and bath.

"This," Liz commented, "is _indeed _paradise."

Ana, still awed, kept her eyes pinned on the many small sculptures that sat on the end tables, "True dat. True dat." She nodded.

"Well," Will sighed, "I'm glad you think I have such great taste in hotels, but we must leave and go get our luggage. As lovely and high fancied as this place looks, they don't bring the bags up for us." They let their eyes absorb their room once more before leaving to go down the elevator.

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"Oh my gosh," Will gasped when they got back to the parking lot.

Liz came forward, "What's wrong, Will?"

He turned his widened eyes up to level with those of his girlfriend's, "I think I left the keys in the ignition!"

Ana moved in front of him, "You _what_?" She screeched, "How could you leave the keys in the bloody ignition, Will!"

"I know, I know, my arm must have hit the 'lock' button when I was getting out. I _knew_ I was forgetting something."

Mimi threw her arms up in the air, "Ugh! Will! We don't need another Jack around here!"

Jack frowned, "Hurtful insult there, love."

She softened her eyes, "Sorry." She placed two kisses against his lips and then redirected her eyes back to Will, "You're an idiot!"

"Hey!" Liz defended, "He is not an idiot! We all make mistakes, Mimi, you and Jack aren't exactly picture perfect either!"

Ana rolled her eyes, "You only use the phrase "picture perfect" when referring to someone or something's appearance, Elizabeth."

"Oh. Well, still, back off of him!"

"Who's gonna make me?"

"I am!"

"What are you gonna do, Liz, nail file me to death?"

"You wanna take this outside?"

"We are outside, you dunce!"

"Then, let's go!"

"Bring it!"

"It's been brought!"

"You brought nothin' because you don't_ have _nothing!"

"Anything, Maria, _anything_!"

"Whatever!" At that exact moment, Ana pounced and Elizabeth leapt. They were an inch from collision, but Jack and Will caught them while they were airborne before they got the chance to bust any skulls.

"Calm down," Jack intervened. He placed Ana down on her feet and held, pulling her from behind at the waist. She clawed and kicked at Elizabeth, who simply clawed and kicked back.

"Let go!" Liz screeched, "I wanna teach that undersea harpy some R-E-S-P-E-T-C!"

"Oh great, _now_ you're Aretha Franklin?" Ana growled, "And it's R-E-S-P-E-C-T! You can't spell? How the _fudge_ did you graduate? Special Ed privilege?"

"Yo mama!"

Ana seized her kicking abruptly, her eyes darkening to midnight black circles, "Not a good idea, Liz," Will suggested, "_never_ talk about a black girl's mother like that."

Elizabeth calmed too,"Why not?"

Ana screamed and struggled harder in Jack's tight hold, "You rotten wretched buzzard! Yo mama is so ugly, the staff of the history museum asked her if she would like to be on display to represent what cavemen looked like during the stone age!"

Liz gasped and glared back, beginning her kicking again, "Well, yo mama is so old, she broke the world record for having more medication than CVS!"

"Ok, ok. _Yo_ mama is so old, she has Adam and Eve's autographs!"

"GIRLS!" Will yelled, "Stop fighting! And plus, I didn't leave the keys in the ignition, they've been in my pocket the whole time. I just wanted to see your reactions." Will chuckled, "Kinda funny, isn't it?"

Ana and Elizabeth stopped fighting and turned to Turner, "_What_?" Turner gulped.

Jack glared coldly at Will, "Get him." He released the wild beast in his arms, who charged and tackled Will to the ground. Jack watched in amusement as Anamaria and Elizabeth pummeled Will on the ground.

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At 11:45PM, they finally fell asleep. Jack and Ana shared the bed on the far right, and Elizabeth shared with Will, who had a cool cloth over his now black eye. The four dozed off into the land of dreams for the remainder of the evening, they would need all the energy they could get, for tomorrow they would be meeting up with a certain big black mouse and his many friends.

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**AGTNR:** Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! If you're reading but haven't reviewed, why are you just reading? All you have to do is press "Submit Review" and at least type the words, "I like this." or, "Your story doesn't amuse me." Come on! Please? -puppy eyes- I won't put up my next update until I get at least ONE new review. Sorry to all my previous fans.


	14. Of a Duck, a Mouse, and a Sparrow

_Thanks to My Adoring Fans! I Love Ya'll More Than Jack/Anamaria Fics! (thinks over) Uh...no, forget about that. lol_

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_Caribbean Babe_

_Countess of Angels_

_**Congrats! Thanks to the ever so wonderful Riddle-Me-That, this has been updated. I said I wanted a new reviewer, and I got one! YAY FOR ME AND YOU! lol**_

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beeeeep!_

Jack groaned at the pestering buzzing and turned away, "God, Will, turn that stupid alarm off." Will stretched and pulled the covers up higher to his chin.

"No, you do it, you're closer to the night stand." He turned onto his other side and pulled Elizabeth closer to him, letting out a silent laugh at the aggravated low growl that Sparrow let out.

_Beep! Beep! Beep! Be-_

Jack blindly groped for the clock and hit the snooze button so the alarm would stop. He let his arm fall to the ground before tossing over, expecting to land on a pillow, but instead, he flopped down on...

"Ow!" The person beside him slapped his arm with as much force as they had in them, "Get off me, you big oaf!" Eventually, after rubbing the abused spot on his forearm, Jack managed to roll off of his girlfriend before she resorted to more ER type harm to his body.

"Sorry, love."

Elizabeth, now awoken by the sudden outburst, stretched lazily, with a deep sigh, and got out of the queen sized-bed, "Well that was..." she yawned, "...a nice way to wake up." She smirked down at Anamaria, "Nothin' like a the wonderful sound of Jack getting beat up by a woman to wake you and help you get your day started." Ana giggled, whilst Sparrow glared.

"Don't you have something to do?" Liz smiled and rummaged through her suitcase, clad in her** Starburst** pajamas and fluffy pink slippers. Her hands searched around for her new blue jean "Orlando" ankle pants and her matching red tank top. Successfully locating the clothing, she took out her more feminine undergarments, deodorant, toothbrush, and hairbrush.

Jack smirked from the bed, "Are you about to shower?"

Liz eyed him suspiciously, "Yes."

He got up on his elbows with that sneaky grin that always got on Lizzie's nerves, "Any chance of me getting a little peek-a-boo?"

Elizabeth glared, "No."

"And why not?"

"Because the door would be locked!"

He fell back, still smirking, "What if I just so happen to _pick_ the lock?" He emphasized the "pick" with a raise of his eyebrows and doing a key twist motion with his hands.

Miss Swann narrowed her eyes further, "Then, by law, I'm suppose to spray pepper spray in your eyes, kick your shin, and report you as a disgusting pervert rapist." He turned towards the dark-haired female beside him.

"And you?"

Mimi cracked an eye open, "I'd let you do it."

He sat up and grinned down at her, "Are you serious?"

SMACK

Jack fell off the bed at the force of the reeling slap, "Of course not, you half witted donkey's arse, who do you think I am? Scarlett?" Jack and Will both winced in unison at the memory of their childhood red-headed neighbor.

"Not at all, darlin', how could I ever _ever_ mistake you for Scarlett? You're Anamaria. A-N-A-M-A-R-I-A." He questioned sarcastically, beginning to sit up, only to be knocked down when her pillow collided with his face.

"And don't you forget it!"

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_Ding. Dong._

Crystalline looked up from her newspaper at the sound of the doorbell, "Coming!" She folded the corner of the paper with the article that explained how_ Animal Planet's_, and _Crocodile Hunter_, Steve Irwin had tragically died by a stingray the other day. Standing up, she tossed the paper down on the spot where she had been sitting on the couch, and walked to the front door. She twisted the knob, and...

"We're here!" Crystalline grinned happily at the group of adults that stood at her front door with food and balloons in their hands.

"Let's get this party started then!" She announced. Mrs. Thomas stepped aside and allowed Weatherby, Madeline, and Angela to enter. She flicked on the lights, and turned off her lamp, and they were all greeted by a huge sign that read, "Happy No Children Day!" in huge colorful bubble letters. Crys closed the door behind them and turned on the radio to V-103, joining the other three parents in their celebration of freedom.

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"Yeah, and I was all like 'Uh-uh!', and she was all, 'Uh-huh!', and then she did that thing with the thing, and I was all, 'No way!', and then she went all, 'Yeah way!', and then I did that thing with the thing-a-ma-bobber, and she went all, 'Uh-uh!', and I was all like, 'Uh-huh!', and then the other girl was like, 'Totally!', and the boy was all, 'Wicked!', and she went all, 'No duh!', and I was all, 'Yeah duh!', and then Tommy was all, 'Yeah duh isn't the right way to say it, ' and I was all like, 'Shut up!', and he was all, 'Uh-uh!', and I was like, 'Uh-huh, if you know what's good for you!', and then the other girl was like, 'Not-!"

"Giselle. Giselle. Giselle! GISELLE!"

"Huh?"

"What in the world are you talking about?" Cried the other person on the other end of her cell phone, "You've been babbling on and on and on about this jibberish ever since you called me! I don't even know what or _who_ you're talking about!"

The eighteen year old sun blonde, Giselle Adams, rolled her eyes and took a seat on a bench under a shady tree, ignoring the fact that Donald Duck was waving at her, and crossed her ankles; she sighed, "That girl!" Donald started jumping up and down to get her attention.

"What girl? There were a lot of girls at the skating rink!"

"Ugh!" Giselle growled in frustration, "I'm talking about that girl who did the thing!" She glared up at the smiling duck that towered above her, turning to look in a different direction. Seeing that he would not go away, Giselle placed her hand over the speaking end of her phone, turning to look at Donald, "Can I help you with something?" All he did was wave; Giselle rolled her eyes and put the phone back up to her ear.

"What thing?" The other person yelled.

"The girl who was all like , 'Uh-huh!', and then she did that thing with the thing, and I was all, 'No way!', and then she went all, 'Yeah way!', and then I did that thing with the thing-a-ma-bobber, and she went all, 'Uh-uh!', and I was all like, 'Uh-huh!', and then the other girl was like, 'Totally!', and the boy was all, 'Wicked!', and she went all, 'No duh!', and I was all, 'Yeah duh!', and then Tommy was all, 'Yeah duh isn't the right way to say it, ' and I was all like, 'Shut up!', and he was all, 'Uh-uh!', and I was like, 'Uh-huh, if you know what's good for you!', and then the other girl was like, 'Not-!" Donald sat beside her, toying with her long hair, which erupted a giggle from a younger child who was walking by.

"Giselle!"

"Huh?" She swatted at the duck.

"Two things!"

"Uh-huh?"

"1) Speak English, not Forbidden Girlie Teenager on Drugs! 2) That "girl" was a _boy_, and that _boy_ was my brother!"

"Huh?" The person hung up, "Hello? Olivia? Olivia, are you still there?" Donald sat, tapping his foot on the pavement, waiting to get a response from Giselle. A "hello", "how are you?", or even a, "what time is it?"

_"Buuuuzzzz"_, went the dial tone.

Giselle pulled her cell phone from her ear and stared down at it with disbelief, "Oh uh-uh!" Once again Donald tried waving at her, only to be knocked flat on his back when Giselle finally got annoyed enough to give him a hard thrust to move the oversized duck out of her way.

Over at a nearby table, she did not notice the four people watching and laughing at her.

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"Oh my gosh!" Laughed Liz, "That was so wrong!"

Ana snickered, "It was wrong, but it sho was hilarious!" She took a sip of her Vanilla Coke, and took's Jack's sunglasses to shade her eyes.

Will and Jack laughed as well, watching Donald squirm about to try to get off his back and get back on his feet, "Poor little guy," Elizabeth giggled, "we oughtta help him."

"And ruin this Kodak moment?" Jack chuckled, "No way!" He turned to Ana, "Babe, let me see your camera really quick."

Mimi thrust her hand down in her track bag and pulled out a beige digital camera. She gave it to him, and watched Sparrow take a few snapshots. Lizzie, still giggling, stood up, "You guys are so horrible," She pulled her golden hair up into a high ponytail, "Whether you decide to come, or not, I'm going to help him," She stepped over the bench of their circular outdoor table, and headed over to the struggling Disney character.

Ana sighed, "Might as well help her," She too stepped over the bench and went to help the overturned duck. Will and Jack watched on with interest.

Jack leaned over to Will, never leaving his eyes from the girls, "Watch this." Will watched with a curious furrow of his eyebrows at his childhood friend as Sparrow took his and Will's cup of Sprite, took off the took off the lids and the straws, and walked over to the two kneeling females. Stealthily he tip toed up behind Ana and Liz, glad that they were both wearing loose fitting tops.

Will gasped with realization at what Jack was about to do, the memory of what Sparrow had told him while they were at the mall crossing his mind:

**Flashback**

_"Did you just say Disney world?"_

_"Yeah! It would be fun! Think about it; scaring little children into giving up their fast passes, riding Expedition Everest four times straight, taking pictures with Mickey and his other oversized animal pals, eating funnel cakes 'till you pop, and spilling ice cold Coke down Elizabeth and Anamaria's back when they aren't looking? It's the American dream." Will chuckled and shook his head at his excited friend._

_"Jack, why not just Universal Studios?"_

_"Because there are no giant rats there that I can pick on!"_

**End Flashback**

Will snickered quietly as Sparrow got closer. Finally, he placed one cup above Ana's back, one cup above Lizzie's back, and poured the freezing cold contents down their skin.

_"AAAAAHHHHHH!"_

_"Oh! My! Goooooood!"_

Ana and Liz shrieked at the tops of their lungs until their throats burned. They stood frozen with their mouths agape, getting over the sudden chill. Will stopped his chuckling when he realized just how much trouble Jack had just gotten himself into, "Uh-oh."

Elizabeth and Anamaria whirled around, a deadly flash in their eyes. Forgetting that they had halfway helped Donald to his feet, they shot up, sending Donald back down, and charged after Jack with furious cries. Sparrow's eyes bulged and he dropped the cups to the ground, "Oh bugger."

Will called out, gathering up the rest of their belongings, "Run, Jack, run as though the demons of Hell are on your heels!" He stopped himself and thought that over, "Wait a minute," He said thoughtfully, "they are." He looked up with widened eyes, "RUN!"

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Eventually, Ana and Liz had tired out from chasing after Jack, and they decided to let him off...for now. But, at this moment, they, and the guys, were more focused on riding Splash Mountain six times straight.

"You can't be serious," Will spoke, "Six times? Girls, do I look like a blasted Hippocampus to you? King Neptune?"

Elizabeth eyed him, "Possibly." She slithered silkily over to him, "My vicious little sea serpent." The silkiness of her voice was enough to motivate Will.

"Ok, let's go!"

Jack chuckled, "Sucker." He followed Ana and the cooing Turner-Swann couple to the line for Splash Mountain. Suddenly, he stopped and gasped, "Wait!"

Ana turned around, "What _now_?"

He grinned, "It's Mickey Mouse! Mouse Mickey! Cheese Rodent!" Not waiting to hear their responses, Jack raced over to Mickey with world's widest grin on his face. He looked so out of place in the line to get the Disney creation's autograph. A line full of children that ranged from two to eight, and then there was the giant monument that was indeed Jack Sparrow.

Once the line had gotten down to Jack, the others were surprised at what he had just done. Instead of handing Mickey a sheet of paper and pen to get the mouse's signature, he simply took Mickey's head, exposing the head of the sweaty man that was beneath it; Sparrow ran back to his group, shouting, "I got it! I got it! I got his head! After all these years, I've finally decapitated Mickey Mouse!"

Liz giggled, Will snickered, and Ana simply rolled her eyes with a smile. It was going to be a _long_ day.

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**AGTNR: **Voila! There ye go. After weeks and weeks of thought and concentration, I've FINALLY gotten back to this fic! Hopefully, I haven't lost any reviewers since I've made you wait so long. I hope you liked it, and PLEASE review!


	15. Cake! Cotton! Cake! Cotton! Cake!

**Thanks to the ever so wonderful reviewers!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_Albino Coconut23_

_charmed-to-meet-you_

_Countess of Angels_

_Sera de Relandrant_

_Miragestar_

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_Dreamstar's Courage_

_Readerfreak10_

_rockyrelay_

_freak and proud_

_Johnnycakesdepp_

_Little Miss Sparrow_

_williz_

_Rabid Lawn Gnome_

_Caribbean Babe_

_**I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!**_

The loud speakers on poles all buzzed, signaling that there would be an announcement shortly. Music began to play, in which it consisted of flutes, drums, and trumpets as a familiar voice greeted every person in their usual happy tone, "Hehe! Well, hello there, pals! Mickey Mouse here! Just wanted to wish a couple of wonderful folks a happy birthday and give a few announcements. So, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to Rita Gavens, Harold Dixon, Katie Myer, Susan Richard, Taki...Taki...Taki..."

He took a moment to ask someone in the room how to pronounce the name, "How in the world do you say that name? Better yet, what kind of name is that anyway? What ever happened to easy names...like Tom?"

Once the name had been figured out, he got back on the mic to finish wishing out birthdays, "Ok. Hehe! Sorry about that, folks, we just had a little problem there. Now, on we go! Happy birthday to Takishia Waine, Yolanda Harrison, Gabriel Hildy, Benjamin Dewford, Xavior Wiles, Israel Billings, and William Turner. Hehe! Happy birthday guys! And don't forget about the parade tonight! It should be _lots_ of fun! Be sure to ask any of the employees about getting your picture taken to create your own customized post card, and check out our new ride: To Amphibian, and Beyond! Well, that's all for now! Hehe! Enjoy your stay!"

Ana's eyes glittered as Mickey got off the mic. She looked at Will with a smile, "Will, today's-"

Before she could finish, Mickey came back on, "Oh, and could the guy who stole my head please return it to the guy signing autographs? Thanks!"

The mouse went off, and all the eyes of Will, Liz, and Ana turned to Jack. He looked at them with widened eyes, "What? It's not like that's the only one he has!"

Will pondered, "You know what? Jack's actually right for once. Mickey's got like a thousand different heads. He's got Fantasia Mickey, Space Mickey, Normal Mickey, Safari Mickey, Swimmer Mickey, and like a zillion more of 'em!"

"It doesn't matter!" Ana protested, "The point is is that it belongs to Mickey, and taking his head without his permission is considered larceny, not to mention it's sorta like murder. Now, Jack, let's go take it back."

"Why? It's not my problem anymore."

"Then who's is it, Sparrow?"

Jack picked up the oversized head and placed upon the head of a five year old boy who was walking towards the "It's a Small World" ride. Jack pointed at the kid, "His."

She glared and placed her hands on her hips, "You know that's not right, Jack."

"And I suppose oversized rats-"

"Mice."

"Whatever. -who tried to kill me _is_ right?"

She thought it over in her head and responded with a nod of her head, "Yeah, in a perfect universe."

Sparrow rolled his eyes, "Why thanks, dearest, I never knew you loved me so much."

Lizzy smirked, "Alright, you two, enough. Now, Jack, would you mind explaining as to why you murdered poor Mickey Mouse in the first place?"

"No."

She narrowed her eyes, "That's not an option."

"Then why'd you even ask?"

Lizzy sighed, "Because I wanna know, _that's _ why."

"Then why didn't you just tell me to tell you, instead of asking me if I would?"

She growled and threw her hands up in the air, "Ugh! I give up!"

"Yeah," Turner agreed, "Can we just move? I'm sure, Jack, that you will tell us about your "tragic" story in time?"

"No."

Will opened his mouth to respond, but Ana stopped him, "In case you haven't noticed, William, but he's doing the same thing to you that he did to Elizabeth." Will closed his mouth as Jack smirked.

"Righty oh, then. Shall we move on, my poor idiotic excuses for hippos? Good! Where to next, might I ask?"

"I dunno," said Elizabeth, "but I want right now is a mmm-mmm-mmm funnel cake." She sighed in happiness at the thought of the sweet bread and powdery goodness dancing on her tongue.

"Uh-uh!" Ana disagreed, "Cotton candy first! You can stuff fattening sugar bread straight down to your thighs later!"

"No! Funnel cake is _way_ better!"

Before the two got into any "shirt scrappin'" fight, Jack and Will quickly pulled the two females apart, "Nope! Nope, nope, nope!" Will intervened, "Girls, why not we just get them both? Will, you can take Elizabeth to get her Funnel Cape-"

"Cake, Jack, _cake_." Elizabeth corrected.

"Potato, Pototto. Tamatoe, Tamotto. Route, Root. Bow, Boe. Cape, Cake. What's the difference?"

"Cape and cake don't go together."

"Neither does your outfit, but do I say anything about it? Now, as I was saying. Will, you can go with Liz to get her Funnel Rake, and I'll go with Mimi to get her cotton candy."

"Fine." Said Will, "And we're still gonna see the fireworks tonight, right? Like we use to when we were kids?"

"Duh! Now, off with you two!"

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**Later That Evening. Time: 6:35**

The day had gone by fast, and the sun was setting steadily. The foursome were laughing and running about the wide world of Disney World, shing and blinking in the somewhat darkness. Will wore a big hooped necklace that flashed and flickered red, blue, green, and yellow, matching the _also_ flashy belt that encircled his waist. Jack wore a pair of bobbing Donald Duck heads atop his head, flashing and glittering like ears. He too wore the flashy necklace that Will had. Anamaria bought a headset similar to Jack's, but consisted of two heads of Aladan's Jasmine instead of Donald duck. They twinkled as the jingle of "It's a Small World" played from the speakers that were attached to the sides. In her left hand, she held a fake rose with a glittery red light in the petals, and she held her half-eatan bag of baby blue cotton candy in the other. Elizabeth had rubber teeth in her mouth that flashed in the night when she smiled, the colors making the inside of her mouth glow. Upon her head she wore a pink Cinderella tiara with fluffy pink feathers that also flashed and played "It's a Small World." Together, they all ran straight to the line of Space Mountain before it got too long.

"Okay," Will said, trying to catch his breath, "okay. We made it." Ahead of them, there was still of course quite a while's wait in the line, but at least they weren't all the way at the end. That was good.

"Yep, yep." Ana breathed, "I thought we'd _never_ get out of that crowd back there! When do the fireworks start?"

Jack took a quick glance at his watch, "In about, two hours and twenty-five, or round it to thirty, minutes. Oh! After this, do you guys wanna try out Test Track?"

"Alright." Siad Will.

"Cool." Liz replied.

Ana furrowed her brows, "What's Test Track?"

They stepped forward as the line began to move. Will sat up on the railing as they moved into a florecent blue tunnel that lit up their sneakers and clothes, "It's a ride where you get to be a crash test dummy. Really fun, if you ask me." He fiddled with his necklace and looked at his other three friends, who he could only locate because their flash jewelry and stuff were glowing.

Ana's eyes widened, "Really? We don't actually..._crash_, do we?"

Will rolled his eyes and moved up again, "Oh yeah, Mimi, they send us flying at 170 miles per hour straight into a wall and see if we'll survive."

She placed her hands on her hips, "Well, you can't blame me for being a little suspicious! It's not everyday that I sit in a car, acting as a test rat, and practically put my life in danger, _just_ to see if a stupid car is worth putting on the market!"

Jack chuckled and hopped onto the railing beside Will, "Don't worry your pretty li'l head, darlin', nothin's gonna happen to you. If something does, I'll sue. How's that sound?"

Ana arched an eyebrow, "You're gonna sue a dead man?"

"What?"

Ana rolled her eyes, "In case you didn't get the memo, Captain, but Walt Disney is dead."

"I was talking about the park itself, you dip. Oh! Speaking of dead men, have you guys seen the previews for POTC: Dead Man's Chest? It looks killer."

They moved ahead again. Jack and Will hopped off the bar and walked down the short flight of stairs before hopping onto the bar once more."

"Yeah," Elizabeth answered, "I've seen it. I heard that Zoe Saldana isn't gonna be in it. Is that true?"

Ana burst out wailing, "Yes! Yes, it's all true! She's not...not...not in the sequel! Waaaaaaaaaa!" She cried, "And the weird part _is _is that Cotton's in the sequel, and he can't even talk! I bet this was _all_ a setup, and now- Oooh! A cookie!" Maria seized her tears once she saw Will take out a cookie of Mickey Mouse that he had saved from lunch. He waved the sugar cookie back and forth in front of her eyes, teasing her.

"See the cookie? Does Ana want the cookie?" Maria nodded furiously, as if she were a puppy, and tried to make a grab for the treat with her mouth. He pulled it out of her reach, "Oops! You missed!" He laughed.

"Will!" She whimpered.

"No, no, no! You have to get it first. Come on!" Jack and Elizabeth watched the scene with grins on their faces and moved up some more. Ana groped for the cookie with her hands, climbing on Turner to get it. Yet, it was no use: The bastard was too tall, "That's it, Mimi, get the cookie! Reach for it! Reach, reach!"

Jack snickered, "You're pathetic, love. You'd put yourself in the place of public embarrasment, _just_ to get anything sweet."

"I know," She giggled, still fighting to get the cookie, "It's my horrible weakness." Ana got back down on her feet and jumped up and down like a toddler with a tantrum, "Give it to me! It's not nice to treat women like this!"

"No," He corrected, "This is." Will placed his foot behind Ana's ankles, so that they would sit at the base of her feet, and kicked forward with as much force as he could. As a result, Ana flew up in the air and landed on her back, her Jasmine headset falling off in the process. Ana glared coldly at the dying faces of Will, Jack, and Elizabeth, who were cracking up with side-splitting laughter.

She growled, "That's not funny."

Jack wheezed, "Yes it is! You hit the ground like a log!"

Elizabeth held onto her stomach, "Oh God! You tore that ground straight _up_, Mimi!"

As they continued to laugh, the once again moved forward, and Will helped Ana to her feet, "I'm sorry, Ana." He grinned, his face beat red, "I didn't mean for you land so hard. Here." With a smile, he handed Ana the cookie, only to have it snatched away by Jack first, "What'd you do that for?"

"Need to make a minor, no, _major_, adjustment." He broke the cookie in half so that the half where Mickey's head was was detached from the part of the cookie that coated his body in orange frosting. He tossed the half with the body to Ana, and turned to the young six-year-old boy that stood behind him in the line and handed him the half that had Mickey's head on it, "Here you go, kid. Now, don't forget to stay in school, don't do drugs, and don't have sex until you're married." He thought that over, "Unless she's really really hot, that is. If she's ugly, she can wait. Kay?" Sparrow ruffled the kids hair with a smile and then turned back to follow his friends to the sorting line, where they would be split up to get in separate seats.

"Jack, I swear," Ana stated, "You need Oprah."

Liz giggled as they each got into their spots, "As if she can actually do anthing about it. Sparrow is _way_ beyond help!" Ana got into the very front seat of the rocket, since they're each single-seated, and Jack got into the spot behind her. Elizabeth sat behind Jack, and Will sat in the very last seat. The over hanging bar came down in front of each of them and locked in place. They held on tight as it slowly began to move and turn a small corner. Finally, it came to a complete stop, and the lights in the tunnel that they were in went completely out.

A female voice came on and announced, "Welcome aboard. Get ready for the travel of lifetime, as you venture into space and experience a first-hand look at life in the galaxy. We ask that you please keep all arms and legs inside of the rocket at all times. Enjoy your ride." They all turned on their flashing light wear so that they blinked in the dark, and the tunnel lit up with blue arrows that pointed straight ahead. The ship began to vibrate as the woman came back on, "5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

They shot forward with amazing speed into complete darkness.

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**AGTNR:** Well, yeah, that's pretty much all I have. SO SORRY FOR THE EXTRA LOOOOOOOOOOOONG WAIT!!!!!!!!! If you didn't find this chapter as entertaining as the others, maybe you could help me out? Please? Ok, all you have to do is name off THREE random things in your review, and which ever one I like best, will be made into the next chapter. For example: Rabid Lawn Gnome named off a mexican, a white castle, and an ice cube. As you know, I made that into a chapter. Your turn!!! So...yeah, just name off three things. (i.e. chimps, toenails, and cake)


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